So the day has finally arrived…Grayson has been nagging for months and months…no amount of Disney trips would deter him…we were off to LegoLand!!
No idea where he gets his love of Lego from, but he’s been obsessed with it…so here we are…2 days of Lego…with a little overnight stay chucked in for good measure (not in the Legoland hotels mind, I could go to Florida for a week for what they wanted for a night…madness!!).
Nice early start, surprisingly left almost as planned…drop off the cloud (otherwise known as Elsa) for an overnighter…and only a brief 3 hour journey to go. Relatively uneventful, just how we like it…but the last hour was filled with a count down from Gray of “how long have we got to go now?”…kid I’m not enjoying this either, we’re going as fast as we can.
“How long now?”…only 3 miles away Gray…”ahhh I can smell the Lego!!”…fuck really kid? That’s some mad skills you got…if you’re not careful you’ll be getting into the harder stuff before you know it…mechano is a slippery slope.
Ok so finally here, manage to get through the gates with minimal hassle, bloody hell this place is huge…4D theatre gang? Cool, Ninjago 4D…Flames and Water effects everywhere…rip of Dr Strange story, but the kids enjoyed…
Mini land was pretty cool…we toured the globe, visited the USA, Italy, Belgium, India, Australia…pretty cool…oh and there was a token corner for the Welsh…Caerphilly Castle and a rugby field…REPRESENT!…”Dad can I have some money to make a wish?”…umm yeah as long as you don’t wish mammy away again…fair play, he make a good wish this time…oh and you want some money too is it Loo? Go on make a wish then…straight in the bushes…bloody hell mun Alaska!…”more!!”…umm nope, if I wanted to throw money away I’d have invested in Mikeys head shots for that summer he considered himself an actor…
Ah please don’t start your tantrums now Loo, it’s too early in the day, and you were the one who threw the money away so really you only have yourself to blame.
Finally, on to Duplo Valley…little kids area right? Poor Loo was too small to ride the little coaster they had…bloody raging she was, and I forgot the kids swimming outfits for the Splash Pad…not a great start to the day…but we’ll persevere.
Lunch time…on to the Duplo chicken place…bloody hell the food was overpriced…pretty tasty, but £7.50 for a chicken burger seemed a bit steep…and the kids rather enjoyed eating the pots of mayo instead…bloody disgusting they are mun…definitely Fletchers!!
Time to hit the driving school then…but the little kids version…the L driving school…what’s worse than watching people at a theme park drive in circles? Yep, watching little kids doing it…and you can tell the ride attendants felt the same way…they literally hated the kids…one of the kids kept right hand down and crashing, which was both hilarious and frustrating to watch…bloody women driver, and this seemed to be a theme.
Grays turn though, decent driver to be fair…even if Gray did keep trying to run over the attendants and then playing bumper cars smashing the kids. Road rage - Lego style…you thought stepping on Lego was bad, try being impaled by it!!
Coastguard HQ next…watching Grays thirst for blood in the driving school pit me off letting him captain my boat, so I opted to ride along with Alaska…she’s not much better to be fair…we crashed a few times, into people mostly…I managed to limit the homicides to a grand total of zero thankfully…got to keep an eye on this kid…was quite interesting though to watch how
Jordan forgot how to drive a boat…the actual captain could not handle a kids ride…the shame…don’t worry, with Alaska at the helm and full speed ahead, we will free you!! Well, me, Loo, and about 5 other boats…we did it!!! And then me and Alaska got stuck straight after…we blame Jordan of course.
Haunted House Monster Party!!! Gray you’ll love this…it’s Lego, nothing to be afraid of…poor kid was shitting bricks mun, we could have picked up the pieces and built a Lego house…I wonder if that’s what Ed Sheeran meant?, but he got on it anyways…and bloody loved it…”can we do it again!”…ah that’s for mammy to go on tomorrow bud, the spinning house made me feel sick…glad you finally enjoyed though bud.
It’s boiling today, so ice cream is must…WHAT!! £5 for a soft serve!!! That’s ridiculous!!!…I’ll take 4 please. Poor buggers behind the counter, clearly hated their job pouring ice cream on this boiling hot day, it was almost teasing them…did have a giggle at some bloke kicking off firstly because of the price (umm don’t buy one then), and then because he’d pissed the staff off so much that they made him a lopsided ice cream…they protested their innocence, but we all know they did it for a laugh.
Enjoy guys…ummm I’m done…no you bloody ain’t kids, that’s a £5 ice cream, get it down your neck and smile like you’re enjoying it…you can guess how that went down…2 full ice creams melted and in the bin…brilliant.
Time for a little browse around the shop then…create your own mini figures…fun, yep I’ll accept that…and a little potter to see what else is about…oh ok Jo, yep the sword and shields are cool but the set it’s £20…oh, so you want the unicorn one? But what about the kids? Oh ok, you’re gonna spend £60 on matching sets for the kids just for a unicorn shield for yourself? Why the hell not init…crazy mun.
Quick blast on Laser Raiders (guess the name Tomb Raider was taken, but would have made more sense) and then scarab bouncers…and I’m gonna brag here…I blitzed everyone in the blaster game…still got it…pew pew.
Few photo ops with Lego statues and camels…the kids may or may not have sat on the camel for a quick pic…and then obviously Jordan had to join in…well that was the plan before some kids decided to jump in and start climbing the camel…’No it’s my turn sorry…’…poor kids didn’t know where to look, this 32year old woman had just kicked them off the camel to pose for a photo…unlucky kids, picked on the wrong crazy person!!
Few kiddie rides around this area, Carousel was fun, me and Gray enjoyed the spinning teacup…but ended up spinning so fast we almost broke the ride…like literally they ride was breaking…luckily Jordan stopped us…Gray may look like he’s got no muscle behind him, but that kid can spin a cup…there’s hope for him yet.
Ninjago ride (aka Lego Webslingers) was pretty fun, it’s far too warm to be flinging my arms around like a mad man today, and this showed in Grayson absolutely destroying us all!! Fun ride, but needed a bit of updating…and for those wondering: Gray - 128200 next closest was me - 79250…blew us away. Put some respect on his name!!
Getting late, and like hell are we walking up the long hill to get out of the park…Hill Train it is then…my god the operations in this park are slow…I wasn’t expecting precision like Disney and Universal, but everything is so slow…literally took almost an hour to board the train…got so bad that Jo and the Kids created the entertainment with a sword fight…it was mad, and sometime always takes it too far…yep, Alaska battered Jordan and she ended the day in floods of tears…that’s what you get for picking on kids half your size!!
Off we go to our hotel then…staying in Woking this evening in a Double Tree…really nice actually, and even got a free cookie on check in…could be worse. Quick bit of food in the restaurant, where Alaska demonstrated her spaghetti eating prowess and it’s off for chill and sleep before day 2 tomorrow…yay!!
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