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Writer's pictureDean Fletcher

Bloody Nicole - Florida Day 11

Updated: Nov 16, 2022

Woke up…shorts, t-shirt, sun cream…check…off we go…back we go…sweater, poncho…check…bloody pissing down…great, glad today is our 13hour Magic Kingdom day…’Guess what guys? Today I’m going to be good’…yay, cheers Gray..I’ll believe that when I see it.

We looked like a group of reapers, and junior reapers (they haven’t earned their scythes yet) off to pick up storm victims…I swear it was raining when we left, but now it was dry and we looked like idiots…we’ll see who has the last laugh.


Bus ride to Magic Kingdom…Grayson broke his vow in record time…come on Gray, today is already shaping up to be a visit to the ‘Tragic Kingdom’, give us a little break…’I’ll show you what good is!!!’…he certainly didn’t…


Mickey and Minnie meet and greet up first…so nice they set up a velvet rope maze for the kids to piss about in…ah no? Try telling Gray and Alaska that was just the queue…at least Gray wasn’t telling other kids off today…small victories…got in to meet the main man himself…Minnie was having a day off, she’d been on a bender the night before for Goofy’s birthday and pulled a sickie….at least Micky cares enough to fight through the hangover and meet his adoring fans.


The kids were in awe of him…cuddles, hugs, beaming smiles…my god it was worth it, things like this have really made this holiday so special.


Main Street next…standard brekkie of cookies and marshmallows…that’s a healthy breakfast right? Well better than our Epcot brekkie anyways…


Pandora next, nope not the one in Animal Kingdom…this one was gonna cost me…Jordan had been subtly (or not so subtly) eyeing up a few rings she fancied, and today was treat day for her (to be fair I’d been buying loads of shit for me and the kids, and she hadn’t had much for herself)…fair play she didn’t sting me too badly, and picked a lovely Cinderella ring…little peruse through the arcade and a few nice holiday pics for photo pass on the way to Tomorrowland.


Laugh floor up first…not been here..it’s for kids right?…bloody hilarious, it’s one of these shows where the animation on screen interact with the audience…some funny characters here…20 mins of panicking and being all inconspicuous so I don’t get picked on though…success, I got to watch other people’s embarrassment whilst keeping me idiocy purely for myself and my immediate family (shout out to Mike Wazowski).


Space mountain next, and a quick child swap for us all to ride…touching distance to the ride cars and I notice Paige subtly bricking it at lap restraints for the ride vehicles…she’d only be on France’s version which was slightly more violent, well in other ways…Florida’s version gave my back a kicking and had me ducking the whole way round…the ride doesn’t feel tall person safe, and I didn’t fancy being decapitated today.


Message alert…Disney app…this storm was fucking up our day and was now causing the park to close 4hours earlier than expected…great, we still had a shit ton to do though…guess Busch Gardens is off the table for tomorrow.


Me and Paige are off and tagging Jo in…child swap works quite well here…Jo and Gray had kept themselves occupied whilst Paige and I waited in line and had apparently been in a big argument after some people had pushed Gray and Alaska’s stroller out of the way of the table they were at whilst Jo queued for a snack…some people are dicks…from what I hear though they got a bollocking from Gray…good one buddy…bunch of dicks.


Still chucking it down (which was the theme for the day)…quick bit of ‘pimp my ride’ style ingenuity and the kids now had a complete shelter for their buggy (Debs pac-a-Mac’s were a godsend)…Gray chuffed to bits feeling like a king in his new dry lined palace on wheels, but Alaska was fuming and found a way to stick her head out to view the carnage of a dismal day at magic kingdom. Quick spin around Big Top souvenirs (I clearly haven’t bought enough) and Jo and Paige had caught up with us.


Under the sea: Voyage of the little mermaid then (felt like we were already under the sea with the weather)…Gray and Alaska wandering blindly round the queue and grabbing at random people because their hoods were way too big for them…Alaska clocked this and opts for an over the shoulder hood, while he brother plays the fool…at least there was entertainment for the long wait.


Lunch time…Friars Nook…Brat Burger and Mac and Cheese…wasn’t great, but the burger had novelty value (it was shaped like a toad), which added bonus points…Cheeky Cinnamon roll from Gaston’s Tavern for desert (we had to didn’t we?)…wind was really picking up, I did wonder what Universal did with twister after they replaced it…now I know where it went…Storm was really starting to roll in.


Merch stop…been eyeing up a Haunted Mansion sweater…stark realisation that Disney literally will screw guests out of money at any opportunity…if there’s no price sticker on something, it generally means that they will just make up the price day to day…this sweater was $10 cheaper yesterday mun…some Disney magic right there…well for their executives anyways…bugger it I got dollars to use.


Getting later, and weather is getting worse, it really was a dismal day…felt too much like home…Splash mountain, fuck it, how much wetter can we get?…photo time, what pose shall we throw up this time? Hood up? Hood down? Grumpy faces? Enjoyment?…panic pose…we opted wrong, we got bloody soaked without out hooded defences…turns out we could get wetter…bugger it, home time soon.


Quick in memoriam pics with Brer Rabbit (it’s being overhauled next year)…time to begin our fight through the crowds to leave.


By now everyone was dressed in Ponchos and I couldn’t tell who worked there or not…it was like living in the handmaids tale…


Couple more souvenirs for kids for Christmas (how the hell am I getting all these home?…that’s a problem for another day), truly channelling my inner Grandma June (she loved to shop, and would always buy way too much in Florida) and we were off to the bus home.

Christ they really rammed as many people as possible in here…some poor elderly bloke was left standing, but Alaska refused to move for him…literally she shouted ‘no’ at me and then sat there all lady like…clearly she believes heavily in equality and does not discriminate on age…it’s ok Loo Loo, me and Gray can share a seat, you’re lucky you’re cute!!

Back home, cold and wet, like drowned rats...kids in bath to warm up and bit of chill time…Deb and Chris had been on a supply run and dropped off a load of donuts and muffins to ease our pain…thanks guys.


Orlando wide curfew in place from 8pm which meant we had a solid 1.5 of time left…Panda express run it is then (Walmart is closed after all). Paige, we need to be there and back quickly, I can’t be driving in this storm…’Dean, What doesn’t kill you makes you hard’…that well known saying is it Paigey? I’m pretty sure this storm may kill us if we’re out in it too long though.


Family box in a panda express…literally nothing left and they won’t cook anymore despite a line out the door…ok gimme all you can to fill the box…fuck knows what everyone else is gonna eat but we were sorted…Orange Chicken…mmmmmm.

Back home in plenty of time and the kids had a rice and noodle party on the bed...yeah who needs a table when you can use the bed as a plate ey? At least we now have our midnight snacks sorted.


Grandma, ever worried about us has caught on to the adverse weather we’re having and texts some strong words of advice…hide under beds…thanks Grams, think you’ve been watching too much twister.


Still early and Gray is going stir crazy, and there’s only so much pillow fighting I can do before one of us takes it too far…it’s usually me…come on kid, let’s go for a walk. Quick photoshoot around the hotel (Grays idea) and a visit to the hotel shop…the orange chickens gone to Grays head, he’s like a madman again…dancing, spinning, battering me with a sword and shield…hilarious, literally crying laughing.


Paige and Gray have cakes, I have despair at the amount of weight I must have put on this holiday (but end up eating Grays cake anyways)…then back to the room for a coffee and bed.


Parks open crazy late tomorrow, so an actual lie in…supposed to be Busch gardens day, but don’t fancy travelling to hurricane central to not ride Iron Gwazi (still gutted)…so Hollywood studios and Epcot when they open.


Hopefully the storm doesn’t cause too much havoc.



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