On this weeks episode…Bluey and the disappointing trip to the Safari Park.
Early mornings, long journeys, long queues and absent animals awaited the Fletchers this week, but we had a great time as always.
It’s been a while since we last been to West Midlands Safari Park, but we heard that Bluey and Bingo were making an appearance this week, so couldn’t miss it…we all love a bit of Bluey, so I couldn’t wait to meet her…and I quite like West Mids, so todays trip is a no brainer.
Dreary old morning, cloudy and that horrible fine rain, ya know the rain that seems to make you wetter than the heavy rain…Eurgh, let’s hope it brightens up a little at least…we don’t mind though really, Safari Park, so we’re in the car for most of the day, and if I brought my yellow Mack, at least I could channel my inner Dennis Nedry in the Dinosaur section…win/win then.
Opens at 10am, 2.5hr hour drive, so an 8am leave time was looking to stand us in good stead for a fun filled day out…well except that realistically we’ve started to learn that between our collective weak bladders and inherent lateness, you can add at least an extra hour to the journey…and predictably, our 10:30am arrival time turned into a 12pm arrival time…bloody hell mun.
Hell of a journey that seemed destined to never end, which was made even worse by the psychological warfare that Grayson unleashed upon us…don’t know if it was a sugar high from a Haribo breakfast, or just madness from the journey, but Grayson unleashed a barrage of torturous repetitive gibberish designed to drive us crazy because we were taking too long to get there…if it wasn’t the random Pokémon naming, it was repeating colours in Welsh or continually counting to 10 in Welsh over and over and over…’and now backwards…..’. This kids commitment was impressive…finally rest bite, we were here…well in a bloody massive queue at the entrance…ffs…HALF TERM!! 😳
Bluey only makes a few appearances throughout the day, and we were closing in on the next showtime…only a few things to navigate first…the seemingly never ending traffic of cars waiting to get through the entrance, a quick toilet stop for Gray and some explosive poops for Alaska…bloody marvellous…you can sort that one Jo, I’m taking Gray to wee.
Finally make the line for Bluey…bloody huge already…luckily we’re used to Disney and aren’t all that deterred by a huge line for a character meet and greet…only to be cut off right at the last minute…sorry, this session is full…ffs, I guess I’ll wait for the next then.
Front of the line and waiting patiently, only another hour to queue…’gray do you wanna see animals or bluey…it’s gonna be a while’…bluey, of course it was bluey…ok bud, let’s stick around. She was the whole reason we were there after all…I somehow must have looked like a person well in the know, a chum of Bluey if you will…next thing I knew, I had a barrage of people quizzing me about why there was a line, when were the showtimes, why did we have to wait in line with the kids??!!…it’s disgusting!!!…I felt like bloody Batman in a struggle against the Riddler…umm, right I can tell you what I think is happening, and why I’m still in line, but I don’t work here…aaaaaannnnd off goes a pissed off mother…clearly never been to Disney and had to wait hours to have a snap and autograph with Mickey Mouse…or worse, some ‘Z’ list characters like Smee or something.
Anyways, the time finally came, we were in, I couldn’t wait to give Bluey and Bingo a high 5 and bundle the kids out of the way for a personal pic…we were here…aaaaaaannnnd it was shit!! Rushed through, 2-3 seconds of waving and a quick picture at a distance, and that was that…well worth the hour wait…or not!! Fab, thanks for that West Mids. The kids loved it though, and was kinda worth it to see the beaming smile on Alaskas face as she frantically waved and called to Bingo…she’s so damn cute!!
On to salvage the day then…ooo the Sea Lion show, these are always well scripted and never go wrong, and we’re just in time for the start…let’s go kids!!
Bloody hell this place was packed more than the front row of a BTS (or insert popular artist) gig (they’re still relevant right) and there seemed to be a lack of staff to control the waves of parents and children determined to watch a Sea Lion refusing to do tricks in exchange of fish…what could go wrong.
Show starts…well so we think, the Sea Lion and trainer just kick off the show, but no idea what’s going on, the speaker system has failed and some Bob Ross lookalike is trying his best to cope with a packed out noisy stadium with a 10w speaker…poor bugger got heckled so bad by one of the guys in the crowd…not that it stopped everyone else from talking and making noise…he was fighting a losing battle…unlucky mate…show was fun anyways, and Sea Lions are brilliant and criminally underrated.
Bat cave then? Well…a cave, no idea where the bats were…ambling around the pitch black ‘twilight’ zone, avoiding Jordan running me down with a push chair…I’ve got PTSD from last weeks shenanigans, thank you Margaret!! No bats to be seen…and for that matter, no penguins to see earlier either…they must have heard that Bluey wasn’t playing ball and decided that what’s good for the goose is good for the gander and pulled a park wide walkout…
Ice age and Dino areas it was then…at least we know they’ll be there…ya know since they can’t actually move and all that.
Ooo a giant T rex skull, surely no adult would be dull enough to try fit in its mouth…’Dean, take my picture!!!’…FFS Jo, if you get stuck I’m not helping you out of it…Spoiler, she did get stuck, and I did help her out…well after I left her there for a few people to walk past and have a giggle at…to be fair I’m just raging that I didn’t get in there first.
Wander around, Looloo and Gray bust out their acting chops on the dinosaur toilet…these kids need to go to drama class…‘I’m so scared!!’…oh yeah Looloo? Then why are you laughing your head off? She’s so funny mun. Some interactive bone excavation, a quick view of the woolly mammoth and rhinos hair transplants…which were not to great and a potter around the rest of the walkthrough areas and it was time to hit the Safari before it closed.
Now I like a Safari, but I hate the queueing to see and interact with the animals…unless it’s me holding up the queues by feeding the animals…selfish bugger as I am…great to see some cool active animals like the painted dogs and lions (who are trying their best to escape), but wasn’t too great to see the keepers corralling the animals to bed at 4pm…I didn’t come all this was to look at 10 different varieties of deer and get shunned by Bluey mun…to be fair, animals will be animals and we expect it, it’s nice they have the freedom to choose. The kids were more concerned with fighting over the tub of sweets that Alaska had conned Jordan into buying to be fair, and we did have some good interaction with the Camels, Eland, Banteng, Black Buck and Giraffes…so all in all, pretty decent…oh and Grayson did heckle abuse at a white tiger for being the wrong colour…yeah say it to his face kid.
Anyways, Safari done, we’re all pretty tried so long Journey home to collect Magaroo and get a quick maccas…work tomorrow for both of us.
Not before another little treat for the ears by Grayson though, breaking out in a variety of random songs…the kids a lyrical genius…he even sang us a tune to summarise the day…keeps your eyes peeled for his new record.
Anyways, we had a great time despite the crowds and small disappointments.
Wild Place Project next weekend, looking forward to it!!
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