It’s Easter Sunday…otherwise known as the day the Easter bunny dropped off a shit load of chocolate for the kids (and let’s face it, the adults) to enjoy…the feat that would have previously lasted a few days, but will now satisfy our chocolate quota for the next few weeks. Cheers Easter bunny!
Now, I had given up hope of ever seeing this, and put the Easter bunny down to being a myth created by adults to get kids to fall in line in the lead up to the holiday, like the Santa or Mickey Mouse, but wonders never cease. I caught the bastard legging it from the house this morning on my routine animal feeds.
The lesser trained eye may have mistaken this for a wild rabbit, as mags did (well truth be told, I don’t think she saw anything really and just went along with the excitement…I could have told her I saw Bigfoot and she would have agreed), but I know better. I spotted his little basket full of striped, brightly coloured eggs trailing behind him as he hastily retreated from my sight line, shitting chocolate eggs as he hared (ha, get it) off like the flash!!…caught you, you little bastard. Kind of like that time I caught Santa dropping off my Go-peds that one year. Believe…
Kids didn’t believe me, but they had no explanation as to how the room was filled with chocolate eggs like some sort of Willy Wonka ball pit…guess the ritualistic construction of the most over the top Easter Bonnets must have worked and the Easter Bunny smiled down upon our offerings of Crème eggs and Chocolate Milk. Good job kids!!!
The kids did well this year and must have been half decent since Christmas (you know because after Christmas, this is the next major kids holiday apparently)…Bonnie the Bunny must have put in a good word after Alaska had been half decent at their meeting last week at Chessington…nice one Alaska, let the chocolate rain down!!
Ok, so there may have been too many eggs, I do the same at Christmas, forget what I buy until it’s time to set them out like a chocolate Wicker Man to appease the gods of Easter. Kids were in awe at the mounds of Cadburys, Reese’s, Lindt and various other confectionary, and couldn’t wait to hammer a hearty breakfast of eggs…chocolate eggs! Why the hell not init; Grayson to be fair has been telling us for the last few days, “right, on Easter all we are allowed to eat is chocolate, and nothing else”. Ok then, if the Easter egg hunt Paige and Anya had set for them earlier in the week had made him sick, I couldn’t wait to see what todays influx of sugar was going to do to him…surely he would be a hyperglycaemic mad man, kid of like a coked up Tasmanian Devil I assume. Fab!
Oh, how you gonna open that one Alaska? SMASH…”I’m going to open it on your head!”…thanks for the heads up (funny I am), but jokes on you, it’s not broken…did hurt though. I’ll take that Loo, my turn…
Next up was the traditional wind up Chick and Bunny race to see who would be the crown champion of Easter…we hit it up in a winner stays on tournament that consisted of Grandma mercilessly destroying us all and jumping around the living room like Grandpa Joe from that chocolate movie that highlighted the failure of the British system to identify fraudulent disability claims…I’m on to you Mags!!
Time for an Easter Bonnet parade…first by myself and Jo, and then by the kids in a Zoolander style catwalk…to be fair we’d spent hours making these yesterday and were eager to display our hard work…yeah the kids had some input, but it was really a triumph for myself and Jo…though the bloody glue we used was a bit shit and was still drying over 12 hours later…can’t wait to see how these fare in the wind at our traditional trip to Castell Carreg Cennen.
Speaking of which, we’re late!! You’d think calling Dad a few hours earlier and giving him shit for always being late would have ensured that I turned up early to prove a point, but no, as usual we decided to underestimate our preparation and travel time and arrived a little late…only a minute or so, but late enough to feel a little foolish…ooops!
Castell Carreg Cennen has become our Easter Sunday tradition since the 2013 sighting of the Ob-Easter Bunny. This place has become a Mecca for droves of people hunting the Mythical Beast, hoping for a glimpse of him flopping around the place…some say he may never be seen again, and I can’t help but agree since Mikey has lost a bit of weight…who knows, maybe we’ll see him again one day? Word is he resurfaces every 23 years like the Creeper. Our tradition consists of catching up with Mam, Dad, Anya and whoever else fancies an Easter Ploughman’s, Cawl and the fastest cake in the world…Rhubarb Crumble, oh and as many cups of coffee we can squeeze out of the place. We love it, and have been there every year for 11 years, maybe minus 1 or 2 during the dreaded pandemic. It’s picturesque, and a great spot to catch up and enjoy a few hours. A great place for a few nice pics of the kids…and their suave newly constructed Easter Bonnets. Bloody windy though, maybe give that a miss for a bit, there’d be eggs flying around like a chicken in a tornado, especially with the shitastic glue we had used…yes it’s sparkly and glows in the dark (everything you want in glue), but does it stick? Hell no!
What we having then gang? Alaska and Gray live up to their self designated nicknames of Cheese and Ham, and tuck into some sandwiches whilst myself and Dad selectively scam a ham and cheese ploughman’s and everyone else delights in cawl. Food arrives almost as fast as we can order, and the traditionally strange cheese share begins…no idea why, but for some reason, every bugger was passing around blocks of cheese whilst myself and Dad fended off wandering cheese fiends from our platter of smokeless cheeses. Jordan, despite protesting her dislike for cheese ended up with mounds of cheddar, and forgetting she only has half a stomach now, quickly regretted her decision and despaired at the inability to finish her soup…guess the cakes will be spared today.
Alaska is still learning (verrrry slowly) to use the toilet instead of pissing her pants, and so randomly proclaims her requirement to use the fqcilities…go on then Anya, you can take her. Alaska swiftly returns only to tell us all that Anya was having a stinking poo, and then decided to announce “Anya your poo is stinking…did you have a nice poo?” to the whole room where the acoustics mirrored that of an opera house…now everyone knows Anya, just own it…poor Anya, still at the age where things like this embarrass her, and the facts that several kids made a point of giving her a wide berth and made fart noises at her probably didn’t help.
Moving on, is it time for dessert yet? Gotta love the desserts here, always a decent Carrot Cake and Rhubarb Crumble…but the Ice cream, not the best, and apparently only comes in a cone…what a fiasco asking for ice cream in a tub…and with spoons to eat the ice cream? Madness…good thing the kids enjoy scooping ice cream with their hands like frenetic ice cream cannibals. The inevitable fight over a cone followed when they ran out of bowls and I refused to take the dog bowl as an alternative…sort it out guys, we’ll be back in a year.
That’s enough cheese and ice cream…time to take some nice pics of the kids in front of the castle once they had ceased the ice cream death match…lovely!! Time to go home though. The rabble give chase as they had a carload of chocolate to dump in the house incase the kids hadn’t quite got diabetes yet, and apparently for Anya to drag our kids through the garden to see the animals. At least change their shoes mun, it’s muddy out there.
Fresh from the zoo trip, Anya decides that Grayson’s inability to listen is contagious and ignored instruction to not let the dogs run riot in the garden…”fuck that, run free and cause havoc you unruly beasts!!”…give it a rest Anya, get in the house and join in the belated Easter egg hunt with the kids…you strange 18 year old. Midwife in the making this one, god help the mothers dependant on her care…you have been warned. To be fair though, she did give a pretty solid ‘Peoples Elbow’ to the paving out the front of the house when she fell over a step…it’s all caught on the doorbell camera, and we all had a good laugh after making sure she was ok…poor paving though, smashed to bits.
Time for a relax for the rest of the day, nothing too exciting…just some hot crossed bun bread pudding to make…hmmm (delicious btw).
Happy Easter :)
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