Well well well…absolutely bloody knackered…Halloween Horror Nights 32, night 1 complete…and what an amazing event…we had so much fun and was totally worth it…we pushed past the anxieties of being 2 men down on last years scream squad, and mourned the loss of both Chris as lead cannon fodder, and Paige, but we did it. Now I know you’re all waiting with baited breath, so let’s get it over with…after last years shenanigans where Jordan feigned injury to gain passage through the event in a wheelchair (which spectacularly backfired), I am astounded to announce that not only did she manage to walk all the event, but she did it without complaining…applause please. To be fair, I think the fear of being used as bait for the scare actors last year forced her to push past any pain this year…over 30,000 steps mind…did I mention we are shattered?
A quick appraisal of the day first though. Jordan treated herself to a lie in this morning following an early night…bloody woman lacks stamina. So I decided to scope out Volcano Bay and Explore the hotel…bloody typical, the weather was amazing today, and would have been great to visit the water park, but you try rousing Jordan into ad hoc plans first thing in the morning…nope, we’ve now planned it for tomorrow…just wait to see the cold weather return, or more likely, a tropical storm halt our plans instead…to be fair, I’m determined to make it to Volcano Bay for at least a few hours, we’re childless for this trip, it’s literally next to the hotel, and we likely won’t be back next trip, so it’s gotta be done.
Anyways, back at the hotel, Jordan has managed to wake up and dress on her own volition…she’s bringing out all the surprises this holiday ai…it was like 10am by now mind…Studios then? Yep why the hell not, I heard the Chucky popcorn bucket was back in stock and had decided I must have it (god knows why), but I did ok??!!
City walk first up though, oooo let’s check out the tattoo parlour…”shall we get a tattoo?”…umm ok, but what Jo? Also, I’ve already got a few sessions booked over the next few weeks back home…ah, go on then, just a small one…”go ask then Dean”…huh? Nope…I think she forgets I’m a crippling introvert that hates being out of my comfort zone…oh and turns out so is Jo…great. We both ended up walking out too embarrassed to ask for a tattoo, but bare in mind, we had no concept of what we wanted or how much it would cost…it’s good to be a massive introvert on times.
Come on then, let’s get back to Studios…it’s Popcorn bucket time…hell yes, for some reason I was obsessed with getting the Chucky popcorn bucket…nothing to do with the fact that they keep selling out and can only be found online for double the price…there’s something about a sadistic little ginger that calls to me and seems a little familiar…Alaska I’m looking at you…you crazy strawberry blonde princess.
Following my success, and feeling like I could conquer anything, I decided to once again try my luck at joining the Vicious 6 via Villain Con Minion Blast…yep, we’re back again…basically any excuse to use guns to destroy stuff…I think America is rubbing off on me. Suffice to say, you are now looking at the newest member of the worlds most evil gang. Well I would have been if Jordan and hundreds of other people hadn’t trounced me in the game…stupid bloody game anyways!!
Bit of lunch at Moes, before trying a bit of Banana popcorn…which I was quite looking forward to until the server tried desperately to warn us off it…”umm are you sure you want this?!”…damn right I am, give me the damn popcorn…delicious mind, no wonder the minions don’t wanna let it go.
No time to enjoy though, rides need riding before we get in the line for the line for the line to horror nights…bit of the Mummy ride, quality as always…well apart from a few minor faults that always seems to happen…you’d have thought Imhotep would stop pissing around, but noooo.
Final freed from the Mummy’s curse and back to Diagon Alley…bit of Butter beer…honestly tastes a bit like fizzy piss with buttery cream on top, but when in the wizarding world, do as the wizards do…I even caught Jordan pelting socks at house elves proclaiming their freedom…give it a rest Jordan, those are universal staff you're harassing, don’t get us kicked out. Fortunately we found shelter in Gringotts as Jordan was removing her shoe as she had run out of socks…who throws a shoe??
Down into the vault where Harry and his band of hoodlums had once again caused a shitstorm of trouble and unleashed hell into the safest place on earth…yes Harry we get you’re rich, but you're messing with people’s pensions here mun…yep, take the dragon and bugger off. Not a massive fan of this ride to be fair, don’t get all the love for it or why people think it’s so much better than the Forbidden Journey…madness I tell you…bloody mud bloods.
We were finally out and decided to chill in the sun for a bit before the stress that was the next few hours…quick Starbucks to power me on, and then into the line at 3pm, to enter an area at 4pm to join another line for a house that opened at 5:15pm…utter madness, but there was already a mass of people, and despite having express passes, my anxiety levels were reaching critical mass…I know what will settle this, more caffeine…maybe not, but hey, this is why I’m here…
Long assed wait for the houses to open, made some friends in the queue, one who had more anxiety than myself and Jordan put together…super anxiety if you will…if we were worried how we’d cope without Chris fronting the line, our new friend put us at ease and made us feel that tad braver…poor bugger was bricking it more than a Lego man with a laxative…bad times.
Let’s do this shit…Stranger things, Duelling dragons, and the Exorcist: Believer all done within half hour…all absolutely brilliant for different reasons…Dragons for nostalgia, Stranger things for the star power, and Exorcist…well that was just bloody creepy (with fantastic sets).
Time for some liquid courage and a bit of food before the rest opens and the rabble amble in. Tropical dream punch (as magical as it sounds) for me and ghoul juice for Jo…lovely, overpriced batch cocktails…but it’s what we’re here for so caution to the wind and all that…oh and the Bloody Campfire Poutine…delicious. Oh and I even got ID’d…several times in fact…it must be all the youthful good looks…best turn my cap backwards to look a bit harder…
Yeti next up…poor fuckers only reacting to the death of their baby Yeti…bloody Billy got what was coming. Comical and fun house…and even got to see the new HHN cult hero… the bear!!!
Bloodmoon, and FML this house is insane…scenically amazing, creepier than a creeping creep, and just soooo good…shit myself at certain scenes mind…but it’s still a far cry from the days I used to run out of the houses midway through…manly man nowadays, even if I scream like a lady.
Wander through a few scare zones…witness a service dog trying to enjoy a night off and hammer some popcorn on the floor before being rudely torn away by they person he’s supposed to be helping…bloody hell mate, give him the night off to enjoy HHN and eat the dreaded banana popcorn…
We tried to catch the Megan Horde but to not avail…why I wanted to see kid size people doing a creepy dance is beyond me…especially since we have Grayson to fill that void at home…may as well get a bit more of the food…the Peanut Blooder burger…du du duuuuuunn…to my surprise there was no blood…fuming…I will be following this up with Universal!!
5 houses left and we managed to bang out Monsters: Unmasked…which was insanely good, even if the Hunchback scare was ruined by a change in scare actors…absolutely raging…though the rain effect at the beginning made up partly. Last of us, Darkest deal, Oddfellows done following a million mile walk back and forth…I can kind of see why Jordan scammed us for a wheelchair last year…I almost did the same and made her repay the favour, but then I remembered the torments I put her through last year and thought better of it.
Last up:
Chucky…I’d heard really bad things, so had expectations lower than my chances of becoming a successful belly dancer. We did really enjoy it though, and don’t get all the hate…it’s a killer doll, what more can they do??!
Houses done, all before 10pm…that’s good going, so time to hit the rides again…Rip ride Rockit, some more Mummy, and a little more drinkypoos. Salt Lake City iced coffee, been fancying it for a while…and it disappointed…absolutely horrendous, myself and Jordan quickly joined a queue for a house hoping we’d be told to tip the drink out to enter…but no such luck. I even considered accidentally falling over and spilling it, all of it…really not great, especially when Jordan was only taking pretend sips…thanks for nothing love.
Stranger things…again and another walkthrough of Duelling Dragons to choose Fire this time and we were mullered.
Off we go then, managed to catch the Dr Oddfellow show and get some selfies with this years Icon…another Ghoul juice, and time to head off home…only issue was that apparently no drinks were to cross the threshold to city walk, so we were made to sit and think about our life choices and finish the drink…or as Jordan geniously did…tip it into her flask, and then discreetly drink it in bed…classy.
Bus back to the hotel, a fantastic day/night…absolutely knackered, but always worth it…HHN 32 houses complete. Look forward to part two tomorrow night.
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