Only a quick one for today…I got some high hopes for some mischief and misadventures at the zoo tomorrow.
It’s my birthday weekend…yay!!! Bloody hate my birthday, so Jordan (bless her) decided to treat us to a weekend away (though I did have to treat us to diesel and our evening meal 😳😂)…and what a coincidence, it fell on the weekend of a bloody Dog show…thanks for the treat babes.
Anyways, up bright and early…well I was, animal prep and feeds and all that jazz init…Jo and the Kids had a rather leisurely lay in, all prepped to leave for 7am so we didn’t miss Elsa’s class…well, that was the plan anyway…7:45 and we are away…only a 2.5 hour journey, so would be well in time for the 9am start as anticipated…yep, in true Fletcher fashion we were doomed to be late as always.
Diesel, Coffee, quick baby Meerkat drop (ok ok that sounds bad, let me rephrase)…quick baby Meerkat drop off at their baby sitter for the next few days…they’re still weaning and have their routine. Aaaaand let’s get a bloody move on…
Phwew, made it…10:30 as planned 🙄😜…off you go Jo, me and the kids are off to find something else to do today…I can’t be doing this Dog Show malarkey, can’t think of anything worse than hanging around a field in the cold while I wait for my turn to do a weird little prance around the ring with my floofy little cloud dog. Side note: what is up with the way dog showers run? I get it for the ring and all that, it’s acceptable, but run like a proper human once out of the ring…some proper commitment by some people…do the judges still mark you after you leave?
Back to it, fate had other ideas…well, I say fate, it’s more extreme lack of planning on my part…I should have left the car park sooner…I was frantically looking for somewhere for me and the kids to kill time…like frantically…Exeter is surprisingly awful for tourists. Alas, the aforementioned gods of fate were about to throw me a bone…a big Dog show shaped bone!
What the hell is Jo calling me for now? … ‘We missed her bloody class, there’s no point being here, let’s go home!’…fuck yeah!!…‘oh wait actually, she’s entered into 2 more groups this afternoon, you may as well come in, we won’t be long…be done by 12 at the latest’….FFS Dean, always plan ahead, we could have been away, ah well…let’s see what all this is about then.
After 3 or 4 attempts at parking (some fucker kept snatching my spaces), me and the kids were off to catch up with Jo and Loser elect, Elsa…though, to be fair, I am assured that if we’d arrived half hour earlier, she would have been crowned a champion and winner of her group…she was the only one in her group mind…bloody dog, even loses to herself!!! Love you really Elsa!
12pm came around…nope, still nowhere near Elsa’s group…kids were enthralled in YouTube, Jordan was panic pacing between 2 rings; waiting for Elsa’s time to shine…and me, well I was contemplating how freaked out the dogs must feel when they come to these shows and see multiple identical versions of themselves…it was like a living Spider-Man meme (you all know the one)…I wonder…
Omg Omg, it’s time…Puppy Bitch group!!…always say that in a Jesse Pinkman-esque manner for some reason…bloody breaking bad! Come on Elsa, time to behave and strut your stuff…did she hell…she was bouncing around the ring like a coked up frog…nice one Elsa, maybe that would have won the rosette if you were in the group on your own…ooops…but not this time! I thought Jo and Elsa did well to be fair, and so did the kids…well they would have if YouTube would have allowed them some respite to watch, but apparently Rainbow Friends and some weird Unicorn Narwhal are more interesting…to be fair to them mind…
So there you have it, unfortunately poor Elsa didn’t place, gutted for Jo…not so much Elsa, she should have kept her shit together! So we decided to get our stuff and make a move to the hotel for the evening.
And as if the day wasn’t already going badly, we were about to play a game of ‘is Jordan allergic to Wasp stings’…nothing like the threat of potential anaphylaxis to jazz up your afternoon ey? Apparently Jo had never experienced the trauma of a wasp sting, so this would be fun…fortunately the wasp lost the game, and didn’t succeed in their goal of murder today…better luck next time Justin Bee-ber…FFS Jo, don’t make the wasp mun!
Come on en, had a titful of standing in the cold windy field, on to the hotel…just in time for the football…ooo maybe this day isn’t so bad after all…chill few hours, Football, feet up, Starbucks…quality.
Dinner time next, Miller and Carter is right next to the hotel, winner! We bloody love it…now behave please kids, there are people here on date night and don’t want to hear you two playing ‘how loud can I scream before someone threatens to beat Daddy up’…no, we don’t like that game at all!
Surprisingly decently behaved for them…I mean, Alaska did interrupt a couples date by leaning over their table and shouting ‘Hiiiiii!!!’ In their face before shooting a lemon wedge at them. Coupled with the explosive poos, constantly ducking under the table at the conclusion of every mouthful of food, playing musical chairs (minus the music), and blasting out a scream so high pitched that we had several dogs burst into the restaurant like they had been summoned to a cult gathering…yeah the kids were great and well behaved. To be fair, they were better behaved than the guy on the table next to us that complained because his rack of ribs was too big, and blamed the waiter for underselling the size and demanded a smaller set be presented for him…bellend.
Yep, Miller and Carter is great, but it does lack a certain ambiance, like some light entertainment…the kind only a 2 year old playing makeshift bongos could provide…thanks Alaska for filling the void…little impromptu blast on some tray holder things…backed up the the vocal stylings of ‘Graaay fillleeeeeet!!!!’ (It’s kind of an in joke between me and Gray - watch the new TMNT, it will all make sense). Yep, we made a quick exit before we were kicked out…and off back to the room for a shower and chill before bed…but first Alaska had a conference call apparently. She spent a good 10 minutes on the hotel room phone, speaking to Grandpa (well, phone was unplugged and no one was actually conversing with her, but she didn’t care)…irony is, when I actually called Grandpa, she wouldn’t speak with him, but instead decided to partake in ‘hotel room trampoline park’ with Gray…bloody kids.
Knackered now, kids are fast asleep (trampoline park mush have worn them out) and Lethal Weapon 4 is on…ace!!! Zoo tomorrow, should be fun!!
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