Wow ok so this weekend has been a busy one…I became somewhat of a viral sensation…well not quite viral, but more than a few people watched videos starring yours truly…hey maybe I should start an onlyfans 🤔…the kids had a good day at Grays school friends party on Saturday, and most importantly…our princess little Alaska Loo turned 2!!! And we had the celebration across 3 days.
So here we go then guys and girls…
Friday was relatively uneventful, we had a nice weekend ahead planned and so I had a few bits and bobs to do on my day off…monthly tutor meeting, standard coffee and cake (me, Alaska and Grandma love our coffee and cake mornings), and a the weekly animal fruit and veg stock up…busy busy busy. Alaska is getting addicted to her routine babychino and lemon muffin, and I’m always game for a caramel macc…lovely, and Alaska is showing signs of her maturity with age and eating like a lady…a far cry from her usual ‘smash the cake in my mouth and hope for the best approach’…honestly it’s like a live action version of ‘Hungry Hungry Hippos’…not today though, it was her 2nd birthday weekend.
Loaded up on Fruit, Veg and Straw for the week for the animals, and back home to unload and clean and prep food before it was time to pick up Gray from school. My good it’s icy though, what the hell? It’s like it’s winter or something…oh yeah, it kinda is, and it’s always shitty this time of year…it literally snowed on the day Alaska was born, so we kind of expect no less. Anyways, snow and ice is cool and all…when your a kid, bloody loved it, but…I bloody hate it now, it’s a huge inconvenience nowadays…my god I sound like a grumpy old man these days…the bonus is I do look rather fetching in my winter attire though…every cloud I guess.
First winter since we’ve had the drive re-done, and we were not sure what to expect…turns out, in sub zero temperatures, the driveway turns into a skating rink…literally a sheet of ice mun…I had to fireman carry grandma to and fro the car…we can’t afford her to be hospitalised, we need to use her for childcare 😂…apparently I’m less important. I was getting ballsy though, and felt invincible on the ice, there was no stopping me, I felt like one of the mighty ducks…Charlie or someone, not the goalie that hit hard times after the ducks disbanded…anyway, turns out my arrogance was misguided, and in one swift move I went from Mighty Duck to mightily fucked…bloody ice took me out, and I had a box of apples in my arms…Foot - Ice - Air - Ass…’fuck sake!!’…apples everywhere, gutted (was picking up apples an hour later)…quick check, ‘did I damage my jacket??!!’ No thank god…more importantly…did the doorbell camera catch me? Hell yes…hell of a video, and even better with a little musical addition…my pain, your pleasure…good times, enjoy.
Fortunately the rest of the day was less eventful and was spent nursing a fractured neck of femur…well until we attended Paige’s 30 birthday/engagement party where Alaska attached herself to a fellow red head and despite Paige not liking chocolate, and her fiancées family requesting 2 non chocolate cakes…we enjoyed 2 chocolate cakes…delicious mind.
Saturday then, and it’s kids part time…Grays the age where the whole class gets invited to parties and he insists on going to as many as possible…good times, well for him at least, I was getting anxiety at the visions of awkward conversation I’d have to make with fellow parents…well it was that or awkwardly sitting like a loner in the middle of a kids party…potentially a little more dodgy looking I guess. Silver lining, I had a little Loo who could also tag along, and a grandmother that will follow Gray to the ends of the earth…I did have to warn her though that traversing the soft play would be a step too far…though she insists she was jungle gym champion 1952…I don’t think such a thing exists, but you carry on convincing yourself magaroo.
Off we go then…too early…the place is literally locked, and we end up filtering in with the party kids parents…this isn’t helping my awkwardness at all…”umm…where do you want the bag of presents?”…huh?…”the bag of presents?”…oh thanks, over here…ffs mun Dean, what’s wrong with you…I really have no idea on present etiquette…off you go then kids, enjoy yourself, I’ll be ok, I think…2 hours of this mind, god help me.
In that time though, Alaska had amassed a gang…Grayson was playing with his mates…but a gang mun, she was a little mob leader…5 older girls listening to her every order…which is dangerous considering we can’t understand much of what she says…what could go wrong ey? No idea how it happened, but she now had one of the kids carrying her around the place, she was such a boss that using her legs was beneath her…mental mun, cheeky blinders!!! God help us when she’s older…half expected her to clap her hands and have the girls run off to get her food and feed her…there was also talk of a gladiatorial duel for her entertainment, but I put a stop to that sharpish, I don’t want my children to be the town pariah.
Fortunately time went quite swiftly, and barring a close call where Gray and his mates almost raided the birthday cakes, it was relatively uneventful…phwew.
Only the matter of chilling and the nightly dance off then…I decided to have an evening beer and it must have gone straight to my head, before I knew it my hip pain from the previous days fall had numbed and Jordan convinced me that I could jump and do a 720 spin before landing…how the hell did I believe that??!!…right, film me, I wanna see this…nope, nope, nope…Im getting closer right? chuck a slo mo in it…I wanna see my glory in slow motion…nah, there was no way, managed a 360, but socks and laminate flooring don’t mix and I was back on my ass before I knew it…you’d swear I was trying to break something…but hey, at least I had another comical video right? Chuck some music to that bad boy and let social media have it…anything for a laugh init.
Right now that’s done…Sunday was dedicated to little Alaska Loo and her family birthday gathering…thanks to everyone that came along, Alaska loved it…her best mate Lili-Rose was there for her, and Gray got to see his bestie Ted…these two are inseparable together, which is soo awesome to see. She was in her element, centre of attention doesn’t suit me well, but fortunately the same genetics didn’t travel to Alaska because she bloody loves a fuss…fortunately she got my looks instead 😉
Did I mention I have a slightly mental family? Yeah, family gatherings are a bit crazy, and I felt a little sorry for the other people in the restaurant, but bugger it, it’s Alaska birthday and she’s the boss…don’t make her summon her minions!! Chaos…poor Jordan and Anna left to blow up balloons while I stalled the birthday girl…I say stalled, I just left late and make a few stops for coffee and diesel along the way, but hey, job done and the party was ready to greet the princess.
The usual havoc trying to work out who ordered what meal between 20 people who preordered food, and an emotional tug of war for ‘golden balls’ status between myself and Ben later and it was cake time…Paul usually take a lighter everywhere…he has a strange emotional attachment to fire…”I just love fire Dean, always have…I used to start fires just to see the firemen when I was a child”…Fuck Dad, is it fires or firemen to have the obsession for? How the hell did you father 5 children?…anyway it digress, he didn’t have his trusty lighter…trust mikey to be missing on the day we need one, off to the kitchen then, the birthday girl needs her song.
Lighter procured and a chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’ erupts…Alaska has the biggest grin on her face…like I can see her thinking “that’s right bitches, sing to me!!”…lush mun…blow the candle out then Loo…yay…oh ok, now you Gray, yay…oh go on the Ted, round us off…yay…oh bloody hell, wind and rain ey Ted? I’ll take a slice from the other side please.
Thanks for coming guys, she had an awesome time…and she was knackered for the evening…love her.
Her birthday isn’t until today, but me and Jo were off together on yesterday, which rarely happens, so we celebrated her birthday then, presents an all…only issue was I forgot to put her presents together on Sunday evening and was now panic building a vanity mirror before the birthday girl graced us with her presents…ha, get it!!!
Mild failure mind, I was almost there when a smiley little princess turns up in the doorway…’holy shit, Christmas 2!!’…not quite Loo…anyways, help me finish this off and set up the room, then leave, have breakfast, wait for Mam and Gray and come back in and pretend like your only just seeing your presents…fair play to her, she aced it and was beaming when she was finally allowed to be let loose on her presents…an orchestra of ‘let it go’ rained out over the Alexa, Alaska was dancing, Mammy was singing…mammy was told off for singing, and Alaska carried on dancing…the Frozen soundtrack is for Alaskas ear only, and she rages at anyone ruining that…including mammy…brilliant.
So, vanity mirror and jewellery set was win, she was doing my ‘make up’ all morning…not that I need it…and wearing her jewels all day…proper little girly girl we have here I think…lush.
Nice little meal in TGI Fridays, birthday beers for Alaska, and soft drinks for the rest…she is the birthday girl after all…and a cheeky trip to smyths toys on the way home for a birthday treat…Alaskas obsessed with Bluey…who the hell isnt??!! So a bingo talking plush was on the cards…she was so excited, well up until Jordan tried to separate the toy from the packaging using her teeth…Alaska was in a panic thinking that Jordan had not had enough food at lunch and fancied a Dingo for dessert…don’t worry Loo, she’s had a sleeve, she wouldn’t make it past 1 arm nowadays.
Back home for the evening to spend it almost entirely in front of her new vanity mirror and play dress up…and that was just Grayson…I think Alaska had an awesome pre-birthday birthday.
Her actual birthday today has been less eventful, we’ve all been knackered from the last few days, but we’re having a chill now and family movie night…tonight’s movie…Inside Out…great stuff :)
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