Ahh cheers Disney…awful nice of them to order terrible weather ready to acclimatise us for our return to the UK tomorrow. Cold, wet, miserable…ahhh feels like home, much appreciated. The threat of another Hurricane (Milton or something; with a name like that I’d be angry too), the weather was giving a sneak preview of what the delights of the week would be. Thank God we are leaving tomorrow, old Milty Poos seems like an angry Mofo intent of wreaking havoc on the Disney bubble…and other parts of Orlando too. Storm warnings, potential State of Emergency and evacuations…let’s hope BA don’t get wind of it, I once heard they cancelled a flight because the windsock briefly flapped, and a few droplets of rain trickled down the window of the cockpit. OK maybe they’re not quite that bad, but they do enjoy taking the opportunity to cancel flights…it’s like a terrible guessing game between passenger and airline…us passengers love the jeopardy and stress of not knowing whether we’ll have a holiday or not.
The skyliner becomes the first extreme ride of the day…between the terrible weather conditions and the kids hyped up on an early morning Mountain Dew, we were now hitting Hagrids Non Magical Skyliner Adventure level for thrills.
Hell yeah, that was exhilarating!! What’s next?! Ahhh France…the Super Special Secret Skyliner (I love a bit of alliteration; let’s see how much we can fit in today) entrance drops you smack bam in the between the UK and France…The English Channel if you will. Excellent, but it does throw of my Feng Shui…everyone knows you start at Mexico!
High fives and waves from Alice in Wonderland, fan girling over seeing the Famous Fletcher Four (see, just love the alliteration), sorry Alice, we’re late for a very important date…with Remy. Well, not quite, it was more of a casual meeting rather than a date…the line was over an hour long, and I couldn’t risk missing another family meal. We have reservations to dine in Space today. I’d heard this restaurant was out of this world (Dad jokes; engage), and between our 12pm booking and my Slick and Skillfully Stylish Securing (that’s 3) of a Virtual Queue for Cosmic Rewind, poor Remy would have to reschedule our date to this afternoon. Sorry bud, second best to The Guardians, not so bad (let’s not upset poor Remy by mentioning Frozen, or Living with the Land). A few new pics in front of the ride (poor Grayson’s little disappointed face when he saw the 70 minute wait time), and we bid a temporary farewell to Remy….see you later Remington…here’s some cute pics of me until then. “Hold your hand out”…ah, a magic shot, I wonder what will be in your hand Gray…”I know what’s in my hand…Mammy’s butthole”. Makes no sense, borderline abuse, but pretty funny Gray Gray.
Rain at the UK pavilion, ahhh Disney are really stepping up their immersion game here; if you think Galaxy’s Edge gives you an immersive experience, this right here…this was the real deal. Felt like a proper British summer; continuing the acclimation for our return home. Right, no time for this…we have plenty of this delightful weather waiting for us in approximately 48 hours. The weather is awful, think we’ll take a break from the plant for lunch…let’s head to Space.
Space 220; take a wrong turn and you’re on the God awful death machine that is Mission: SPACE. There are not many rides that I would never ride again…but there is a reason the wait time never breaches the 5/10 minute mark. Claustrophobic, and just no fun at all…Go on Jo, give it a go, it’s not really that bad, the Orange side is the tamest too 🙄 (If you know, you know…Jordan didn’t, but knows not to trust me anyways). Ok, back to it…SPACE 220…dine on a space station 220 miles above Epcot. This was insane…I knew Disney were innovative, but how they managed to build a giant space lift in the middle of Epcot is crazy. This was a whole experience, and we almost didn’t book it…again. Our meal started by being sent to the space station on a space elevator…this was fun, windows on the floor and ceiling showed us travelling from Epcot to the space station, but Grayson had rumbled Disney…”this isn’t even real”. No? Then explain why your sister just floated half way across the room. Station reached, and we are led to be seated…holy hell…this was incredible. Panoramic views of space showing Earth down below…yep, blew little Grayson’s mind, and seeing the Astronauts outside the station high fiving and space surfing convinced him this was the real deal (really? That’s what made you think we were actually in space?). Honestly, fantastic ambiance and vibe…and apparently there is a space dog that walks around every half hour (we now believe this is a myth, and the staff just lie to us in order to keep us staring out the windows just so they don’t have to talk to us too often…solid game plan). CHEESE…MACARONI!!! Yes ok Alaska, get yourself some space cheese, it’s got to be better than American cheese 🙄. Food was delicious, no idea why this place gets slated for the food options. A few space desserts for the kids, an up charge for some space cups, the disappointment of the lack of dog in space, and we were more or less done with our lunch. The visit to the toilet blew Alaska’s little mind…everything was space (obviously). Super special space soap (ok this is getting lazy), space water, space toilet…you know what they say; when in space…
Descending back to Earth, and now fully trained Astronauts, we headed to assist the Guardians of the Galaxy in fighting the baddie that half inched the cosmic generator…naughty naughty. Yep, my early morning wake up had secured us entry into the virtual queue, and now was time to save the galaxy!!!
OMG!! Starlord was in line to high five and sass us…wait you’re not coming? Ahh who needs you anyways! This was fun mind, Peter Quill had taken a break from captaincy and decided to break down in a dance off with Grayson. There were worms, robots and some wild chicken dances…but suffice to say, Grayson is the new captain of the Benatar. Just give him your jacket and go enjoy Epcot Quill…Grayson’s got this.
This ride is insane, our favourite Disney ride, and Grayson’s laughter and giggles the whole way round just makes me feel all happy inside…so cute. Time for a re-ride with mammy Gray? Yep…oh and give the jacket back to Starlord, he’s wandering Epcot lost and depressed without it; poor thing.
“I wanna go in the golf ball”…umm fine ok Gray…bloody hell, we can’t escape space today. Surely our chances of bumping into one of those pesky Xenomorphs is becoming increasingly likely…this is the last trip to space please guys. Odds are we’ll end up in a vacuumless fight to the death. Spaceship Earth then…Judi Dench taking us through a bit of history, into the ‘modern age’…yep this ride needs the addition of some new technological advances as the current ending of the creation of Apple/Microsoft/Facebook (insert official sponsor here) leaves the riders in dismay as to what the present day beholds…leaving on a cliff hanger there Judi, what’s next??!! Ooo, look it’s Michelangelo…”the ninja turtle?”, no Grayson, the artist; but I love your priorities. He’s becoming more and more like me as the years go by. Along with crippling shyness and anxiety, he now had my love for the turtley awesome ninjas.
The hunt for a Food and Wine Fest 2024 T shirt led me to a badass Muppets shirt. Only small left, apparently it’s a popular one…can I squeeze into one of these? Well…not really, but damn did I try. I’ll take it…only $40, bargain for a shirt that fits my left arm. Not like I’m wearing it anyways, I have a weird obsession with collecting things.
Trip to France via Canada…some defacing of the traditional relics. Most people put their faces in the totem looking thinks…butt (you’ll get that misspelling in a moment), but this family apparently…no faces are too easy, this rabble chuck their butts through the totem for a nice family photo. Not that you can tell the different anyways…Oh no he didn’t…
Back through the UK en route…see some token nods to Welsh culture in the gift shop (there was a rugby shirt and a cap, but still more relevant that the Welsh on the moon in ‘Small World’. France then, or as Grayson would have mistaken during our flight onboard Soarin’…London (poor bugger mistook the Eiffel Tower for Big Ben). Remy’s Ratatouille Adventure. By now the queue was a minor 60 minutes long, so we hoped on board, and a short hour later (the time just passed by so quickly with the kids beating hell out of each other), we were in boards giant rat to watch how some poor bloke is chastised and shunned by the community for not wanting rats in his kitchen…wait, tell me again why we are on the rats side? Surely this poor bloke has a point?!
“Merci a Mando!”…yeah, cheers Mando, that was cracking (not more space references??!!). It’s Bientôt Grayson, but good effort. I’m sure the French enjoy listening to other countries destroying their language.
That was more or less our day in Epcot done…our last full day here, and our last park this trip. Just as well, Jordan had spotted a jacket she fancied, that everyone had subsequently purchased due to inclement weather. Tamping, fuming, raging, Paiging (that’s one for the long time readers)…we could find it nowhere, and following Jordan’s new suggestion at thievery that would either get me beaten up, kicked out of a Disney, or both, I think it was time we moved on. “No come on Dean, just grab that woman, I can take her”. No idea how serious she was, but not wanting to risk it, we grabbed a quick Croque Glaces and left Epcot swiftly.
The jacket hunt had gained momentum and led us to a wet trip to Disney Springs, where a magnet had also joined the ranks of things we were desperately trying to find, but couldn’t…it’s always on your last day. Yep, we were left in distress and dismay at the lack of last minute shopping goodies. Polite Pig for dinner…love the American tipping system, and additional $10 on you’re meal for someone to walk from the kitchen, chuck your food on the table, and have no interaction for the duration of your stay. I get the living wage is poor, but the tipping system is insane. Between that and the added tax (oh and the lack of contactless in most places), America just feels a little in the dark ages.
Right, full of BBQ, full of disappointment at the lack of jacket, and tired…back to panic pack, play guess the case weight, stress about the giant baggage fee waiting for me in the airport tomorrow, and go to bed.
It’s been a good one, but it’s been a tiring one. Lie in tomorrow, check out at 11…let’s take advantage.
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