I’m late, I’m late for a very important date!! Yep, I was worried everything was going too smoothly and things were getting a bit boring…cheers Disney, chucked a Churro Waffle shaped spanner in the works this morning.
We had 8:20 reservations for brekkie with Pooh Bear and his mates, so this morning we were literally up before the sun was…whhhhaaaaaattt??! Never done this before, we must be excited or something. Oh yeah, it was also Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique day!!! Damn, what will we threaten the kids with when they misbehave after today?
Ok, rush to get ready, out the door, and at the bus stop…short wait for Magic Kingdom with only a handful of overly eager guests and the crickets to join us. “Oh shit, Dean I forgot the backpack”…for God sake Jordan mun, one job you had. Fine, I’ll run back, hold the bus. I get back to see the bus pull away, and Jordan waving the old middle finger as she travels to the Magic Kingdom without me. Cheers love. Ok, only 20 minutes til next bus, plenty of time. Damn there a lot of people here now…anxiety Dean, engage.
Right finally on…balls, my wallet!! Ahh today is not going great at all…help Disney, can I pay for BBB without a physical card? Absolutely not! What really? No contactless or Apple Pay? Hell no!! …Balls!!
I take a nice tour of the Magic Kingdom bus route…touring the entirety of the Disney complex. Round trip to Caribbean Beach Resort please drive…absolutely not. Damn Disney, you trying to ruin my day?
Finally back to the room, wallet collected…another half hour wait for bus…only a little late, but on track for half hour later than planned. Jo and kids check in and have a whale of a time enjoying the spoils of my blood, sweat and tears securing the booking for this mornings Character dining. Met all the characters, had a lovely breakfast…ate nothing but fruit and completely ignored the jewel in the crystal crown…the Churro Waffles. Have you no class??
Me on the other hand…Delayed bus, Learner Driver…and a bloody security check. Why? Must be the extra bag I returned for…balls!! Just leave and pay the bill Jo, I ain’t getting there…if only I didn’t need to collect that bloody bag 🙄…let’s not talk about the wallet. Annnddd despite being told they’d wait for me, they still hurried Jo and the kids to seat, eat and leave…either that or Jordan was just trying to get back at me for taking Grayson to build a lightsaber. I suspect the latter…
Suffice to say, my morning was suitably ruined…and, spoiler…I don’t even use need my wallet, BBB accepted my contactless payment no problem. Cheers Disney, that’s another point for Universal…at least they only denied Jordan her disability pass, and to be fair, she only walks like a pirate because she thinks it’s cool.
Realising the irony of being the angriest man on the planet in the happiest place on earth, I resentfully look upon the castle snaps Jo and the kids took in a successful effort to further upset me, and end up slumming it in Gaston’s Tavern. Crème brûlée croissant will have to do…no Le Fou, I don’t want your brew…I just wanted my damn churro waffles!! It was awful nice of Jordan to get me some, been looking forward to them…wait..nope. Cheers like.
Anyways, anger lifting slightly, let’s head to Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique…the thing we have been looking forward to so much this trip…at least I know I have my wallet and the experience will not be ruined here…what? Don’t even need it? Yeah cheers Disney…they did give me a lightening lane for Peter Pan as an apology…I mean, I’d have rathered my $135 and precious family memories back, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Right…now, let me tell you. If you ever get chance, and have young kids…YOU NEED TO DO BIBBIDI BOBBIDI BOUTIQUE!!! I almost damn near cried like a baby seeing the magic in my little Prince and Princess’ face as they were treated to the most unforgettable experience. We had star treatment, the kids picked their outfits and hairstyles (kinda…Alaska there is no way you are having a pink long tail when I just spent over $300 for you to dress like a princess), and then met the Fairy Godmother and had a full makeover. It was damn magical, and they were even announced to the whole of the castle as the Prince and Princess they were. Amazing…even if Grayson was destined to lose half his body weight in sweat due to his plush velvet style outfit, and Alaska now had a superiority complex…honestly, she had people bowing and adorning the ground with rose petals as she walked. Damn, the royal life was meant for her…sorry I’m just a lowly healthcare worker babes; born to the wrong social class.
Right, so yeah…to recap…fuming; Disney done me over, raging at the lack of Churro Waffles and total betrayal by my family to wait and hold on an extra 20 mins for me to join; ultimately smuggling me nothing from the buffet (maybe I should have held off on sending the gift card to them), yet still a very very happy Disney Dad that got to watch real magic before my eyes at the joy in the kids face. Oh and the complimentary Peter Pan Lightening Lanes helped a little…still raging mind. I WANT MY CHURRO WAFFLES!!
Ok, so now we’re all dressed up nicely, and before you decide to be yourselves and destroy your amazing outfits and styling, best get in a few pics. Castle pics…obviously, you guys look stunning. Yep I know the sun is blinding you, but take one for the team and have a nice pic mun. Oh ok then, let’s go meet the Princess’ instead.
Alaska gets mistaken for a cast member and is ushered to meet and greet park guests before we explain the confusion, collect her hourly earnings and join the line to meet good old Cinderelly and the mystery guest (they had to rush another princess in after we retrieved Alaska). BELLE!!! Yes, some fabulous, memory making pictures.
Peter Pan, and Small world…teams of adoring fans for both the kids and my badass tattoos…who knew Transformers were so popular in Disney? Grayson does his princely duty and ensures the crowds of people are suitably cooled running up and down the line fanning everyone and ensuring no one would die from heatstroke today…at least not on his watch anyways.
Always fun to ride Small World…the music will haunt my dreams and the cultural representation of the Welsh is second to none…yep apparently we all live and sing on the moon. Well, I’m sure if you asked 100 Americans to pick Wales on a map, they’d be closer to the moon…I’m not judging, I have terrible geographical knowledge and am ignorant to anywhere outside of my bubble.
Grayson taps out, can’t cope wit his cape or sweaty velvet suit anymore…too hot today. To be fair, I’m surprised he lasted so long. He only complained like 7 times, be he needed the pics first…for memories. Sorry kid, be more like Alaska, she’s lapping up the attention and strutting her stuff. She’s even started dancing through Lightening Lanes and being escorted to the front of the line. Confidence is key. Honestly, everyone is stopping her and telling her how cute she looks and she is living for it.
Let’s get TRON this…ha, Tr-on this? No? Ok ok, it’s our Lightening Lane time for Tron, can’t wait for this. Super cool looking, and a pretty great ride. Theming is on point, and I love that the ride vehicle. Always fun to be so uncomfortable on a ride that you are greatful to get off…that’s how they leave you wanting me. Honestly almost used Jordan’s Lightening Lane and went for a re-ride. Great ride, albeit a little short. Best get on Jordan, before it breaks down…ooops.
Karma, Jordan it’s called karma 😂. Poor bugger finally had some of my terrible luck transfer to her through the magic band and is denied her ride on Tron. Luckily she’s got the chance to ride later if the ride kicks back in today…at least she’ll eventually get to her destination. I’m not bitter…I just want my Churro waffles!!
Whilst Jordan and Tron share a break down…I think she’s close to the edge today. The rest of us have a chill ride on Grayson’s new favourite ride…The People Mover. Nice chill ride, get 10 minutes out of the sun and behind the scenes of a few of Tomorrowlands rides. Hidden gem this one…you need somewhere to decompress and have a little sleepy sleep…this is your jam.
Space mountain then, and another breakdown from both Jordan and the ride. Alaska, tired out from greeting all her fans and signing autographs has a sleep whilst I sit in the sun, waiting and sweating from my every growing moobs…Yes yes, America is doing bad things for my figure. My turn on Space Mountain has us fast tracked through the line (thank God, Grayson was having a shit fit that he’d have to wait another hour to ride a substandard wild mouse in the dark). Always filled with an anxious ride on here, I spent the vast majority of it crouched in my seat at the fear of being the latest theme park beheading victim. Bit of a shit coaster, but the added jeopardy of potential death makes it all the more exciting…who needs loops and top hats?
Tron is back up and Jordan digitises herself (not a euphemism) and joins the blue side to race…finally she’s gets to ride following an hour long lightening lane, and catches up with us in Adventureland…eventually. Damn, there goes our plans to ride Haunted Mansion…it’s getting late and we have another day planned here tomorrow.
Aloha Isle to sample the islands Dole whip and the famed Tropical Serenade…am I seriously the only one that enjoys pineapple and coconut?? Fine, more for me…almost like I planned it or something. Grayson is also pixie dusted a coconut dole whip and cake pop too…ahh, see Disney are sorry for screwing me over this morning. Cheers Walt my boy, much appreciated.
Mickey Mouse gets to meet Princess Alaska and Princes Grayson (in his special edition alternative outfit…you know, like a video game character in their special attire?..no?). Always fun meeting the main man, and nice to see him asking for Alaska autograph. Can you believe another queue began to form to meet the princess? Madness mun…Michael Mouse was fuming and had us crooked out before Alaska outshone him.
We can take the hint…long assed bus ride back (I still haven’t forgiven them for this morning), and a quick bite in Disney Springs. A jaunt through the hammering rain to an air conditioned restaurant had me praying for blazing midday heat (I’ll be praying for the opposite tomorrow for sure), and a Chicken Guy for dinner. Bloody hell that spicy chicken was a bit…umm, spicy. Blew my head off!! Well my head and something a little more south. Delicious mind.
Back to the hotel then, chill whilst Jordan does an 11.30 pm wash cycle and back up again bright and early, ready for another day in Magic Kingdom…let’s hope they don’t find a way to destroy my day tomorrow.
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