Lesson 1: No matter how early you think you are…you are never too early in Disney.
The force awakens, along with me and Grayson. Up before the sun, but not before the Jedi. This morning we had an 8:45 reservation to become a Jedi and build a lightsaber at Savi’s workshop. These reservations are harder to find than Luke Skywalker in Episode VII, but I managed to snag one for Grayson.
Up, ready and on the way to become a young Padawan (let’s not mention what happened to the last group of Padawan under Empire rule), me and Grayson head to Hollywood Studios.
Early reservations, so left the princesses in bed (Jordan and Alaska incase anyone had thought I was having an affair with Rapunzel…though everyone knows she smells like a dirty bag of treats…cheers for the warning Gray), and Skylined our way to Hollywood Studios, and Galaxy’s Edge.
Arrived at 7:30, expecting to be greeted with tumbleweed and fanfare for being the first at the park, but no…the place is busier that Oga’s Cantina during a rugby international on Batuu. Absolute mayhem; a brief line, a panic over Grayson’s Magic Band entry (fingerprint linked to Jordan), and we were finally in to take our path on the way to being a Jedi.
To a Galaxy far, far away, we calmly wander through the mayhem of rope drop as carnage erupts around us…Slinky or Rise, the crowd splits, children are left behind as they fail to keep up with determined parents, fights break out in the streets of Sunset Boulevard…Mickey, there’s blood on your hands!!
It’s nice to not have to partake in ‘Death Race: Hollywood Studios’ for once mind…just the task of tracking down a rebel workshop instead…who doesn’t love a guessing game? Well, turns out me, when I’ve already spent over $260 on an experience so exclusive that you had to know a secret knock on the secret door to enter Savi’s workshop. Well not quite, but this time of the morning in Batuu was filled with weary travellers wondering where the hell this workshop was. I get the immersion factor, but at least have a little sign to tell us where it is.
Eventually bite the bullet and queue outside a random hut on Batuu…the force was calling me, and by now I’d also amassed a following of strangers who assumed I was in the know…this is gonna be embarrassing if I’ve completely ballsed it up mind.
Phwew, I was right…I can’t wait to build a Lightsaber!! (Ahem, sorry, for Grayson to build a lightsabre). GRAYSON, DONT MESS THIS UP KID!
Hilt chosen, lined up and ushered in…this place is cool (and not just because of the A/C). Little show and we are ready to build. Grayson falls at the first hurdle…basic biatch selects a blue crystal (oh no, it’s the red droid fiasco of 2022 all over again), and then goes on with the build. Honestly, this experience was amazing, and I’m not ashamed to say, when Gray held his little lightsaber up at the end, I almost broke into fits of tears…my little Jedi; all grown up and ready for Anakin to slaughter. This was so good though, but now have a heavy as hell, fragile $260 prop to cart around all day. Back to the room for you I think…but first, a quick pic (what’s the point in building one if you can’t show it off?).
Annnnnnd, no sooner had we had a fantastic experience like this, Grayson is straight on to the nagging for a creature toy (because Alaska said she’d punch him if he didn’t get one)…Seriously Gray??!! This must have been how my father felt when I was a spoiled, ungrateful little kid with no concept of money…who knew it was genetic?
Back to the hotel, and Jordan has finally awaken and made her way to the studios too…holy hell, I’m amazed! She takes the opportunity to enjoy some A/C with Elsa in the Frozen Singalong…which apparently people dont quite understand, and stare at a full grown adult in full Arandelle winter wear blasting out the tunes alongside Elsa. Move over Alaska, this is Mammy’s time to shine!
Back from our weary travel across the skyliner, we head back to Batuu to the hippest club in the Galaxy…Ogas Cantina. This place was bouncing, and reminiscent of a night out in Merthyr way back when…some of the aliens looked similar to the townsfolk of Merthyr too…like being at home, with better drinks. Yeah this place was fun, more for the novelty than for anything else. 45 minute experience, grab a few drinks…cocktails for the kids, they’re on holiday, they can treat themselves. Busy, loud, fun, and some great drinks…worth a visit, though my wallet may disagree. New coaster collection in hands we dance our way back out and head to a Galaxy less far away….Toy Story Land.
Midway Mania brings out our competitive nature once more…Jordan leads the car score with her double barrel bingo wing machine guns, and Grayson mar’s the failures of his inability to break into the top two…one day buddy.
Coffee and cake in Starbies, and a much needed chill, then Tower of Terror for Grayson and myself. Great to see the trend of asshole teens has started spilling over from HHN into Disney…bloody kids, and I thought Gray and Alaska were bad.
Grays new favourite ride complete, Dean and Grayson survive another brush with death and escape being a victim to the Hollywood Tower Hotel…thank god, my insurance wouldn’t cover Haunted Hotel related injuries…that’s the advanced package.
Holy hell…Alaska has grown in a week, she is now tall enough to ride Rise of the Resistance…checkpoint 1 and 2 completed and looking hopeful, we get captured by the First Order. Alaska joins and swiftly becomes their leader…we knew it!! But just as the official hand over of power happens, the bloody ride breaks down. Raging…no one more so than Alaska, she was about to rule the Galaxy. Sorry Loo Loo, we’ll try again later…Lightening Lane acquired, see you later Rebel Scum!
Fantasmic dinner package time…time to get robbed (or car jacked being more appropriate) at the Sci Fi Diner. Ok ok, so it’s not that bad, but i was a little disappointed here. Always wanted to try this, but it was just plain odd. Atmosphere was strange, i mean, the restaurant looks amazing, and so realistic that I’m glad Alaska kept reminding me that we weren’t really outside…thanks Little Loo, I worried I had lost my mind for a minute, glad to have you keep me on the straight and narrow. So yeah, it’s bloody dark in here…like, need a torch to eat your meal dark. You sit in cars, you all face the same way (it’s a drive in movie, and cars only face one way), and the only sounds are from the terrible cartoons and movies on screen. It was just strange 😂
$200 plus tax and tip for a Burger, Pasta, Chicken Bites, Mac & Cheese, 2 desserts and 4 drinks…damn. Wouldn’t have been so bad if they didn’t display the actual menu item costs on the menu…giving you that warm fuzzy feeling that the Fantasmic dining package was basically costing us $20 per person 🤮. It’s basically an Individual Lightening Lane with food…but it was half decent and filling so I’ll try not to complain too much.
Easing my sorrows and loss of financial stability, we chance an counter with the First Order once more, and make it past capture and on to interrogation…“Get the nipple clamps”…bloody chill Grayson, it’s only a bit of fun. Damn kid, something wrong with you.
Darth Alaska makes it all the way on and off the ride, decided against joining the First Order this time though due to Kylo Ren’s insufficiencies at capturing a group of rag tag rebels, but generally really enjoyed the ride. Amazing.
Few pics at the Falcon in dusk ridden Batuu, put that force choke down Alaska, poor photographer doesn’t deserve that…call the EMT’s, think Alaska winded her…
Time briefly for one more ride…Smugglers Run for Jo and Gray, Slinky for me and Loo…well, we would have, but my Magic Band had other ideas and decided to go for an adventure of its own through Toy Story Land…holy shit. I guess inanimate objects do come to life here. Manage to eventually track the bugger down after his brief vacation across the landscape (thank god for that, I almost cried and started tantrumming worse than Alaska). Then, we get a sprinkle of Pixie Dust from one of the lovely Cast Members…taking a shine to Alaska (guess someone has to), we are taken to the front of the line and boarded back row on Slinky Dog Dash…Alaskas favourite ride. So sweet, such a nice gesture, and Alaska had an amazing time riding with her best gal pal farmer (she’s a cowgirl Alaska), Jesse. Disney magic right there, some lovely people work here.
Fantasmic time!! Disneys best end of day finale…the castle shows have nothing on this. This is the only show I wait for, it’s bloody brilliant. Fire, water, earth, wind, heart…Goooo Planet!! (Showing my age with a Captain Planet reference there). Literally encompasses everything, water effects, projections, fire, live actors, different characters…and Villains!!! Sooo, soo good, but always rammed. Kind takes the sting out of my $50 burger and fries.
Mass exodus at the conclusion, and we fight back to the skyliner, summon the strength to carry two sleeping kids in my arms and fall into bed. Absolutely shattered. Sleep Dean, it’s back to Universal tomorrow.
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