So it’s Mothers Day then…and today we decided to be extra nice to Jordan and show our appreciation for being a boss ass mother to the mental duo of Grayson and Alaska…
Grayson and Alaska had been very good to mammy, spending all their hard earned money on some lovely gifts for her (well after the palaver we had trying to get a custom Disney cartoon print version of us all…note - do not buy anything from lovely prints…terrible), but I’m not the best at preparation prior to the event itself and so this morning consisted of me getting up a little earlier to pack her gifts…no help from the kids I may add.
First task was to blow up 15 balloons to spell out ‘happy mothers day’…anything for a quick photo op and jazzy celebration ai…only issue is I bought some really shit balloons that refused to inflate! You know, the foil letter balloons than come equipped with a tiny straw to inflate them? Luckily, for some reason we’ve bulk bought straws…fuck knows why, but today they came in useful…success, only 14 left…kids do me a favour and sort these out…nah didn’t think so, just give me some moral support then…half hour later I was gasping for air and throwing up saturations like someone with severe lung issues, but all for a good cause I suppose.
‘Grandma stay out of the kitchen!!!!!’ Yes Gray you tell her, don’t come into the make shift workshop where Grayson is panic writing his name on your card and drawing heart shaped ghosts…that old Mother’s Day staple…expecting to see the merch next year!
Done! We were ready…flowers - check, choccies - check, cards - check, jewellery - check…right let’s get on with my morning animal feed and food prep whilst mammy has a lie in…wait, what the hell are you doing up now Jo?! Can’t bloody get her out of bed most days for work, but this morning she was up bright and early…must have been the excitement in anticipation of the famous heart ghosts Grayson was chucking around everywhere like the welsh ‘el barto’…Banksy, watch your ass…there’s a new artist in town…
Ok then…ALEXA…let’s go…a chorus of ‘Mother Lover’ resonated through the house; the Lonely Island producing the soundtrack for the morning capitalising on monopoly of the market for the lack of Mother’s Day songs…there’s plenty of Christmas songs, so why the lack of Mother’s Day appreciation?
On go the kids, arms full of flowers and chocolate…dancing their ass off to a possibly slightly inappropriate song…but they sold it well….
Oh and we can’t forget Grandma…ALEXA…REPEAT SONG!! Mags bloody loved it mun.
The excitement must have got to her mind…she was playing billy big balls making me make her tea in her new mug, but then feigned collapse when I asked her to pose for a pic in front of my hard work…my terribly inflated, badly displayed balloons…bugger you then Mags, Elsa will take your place.
Were we off today then? ‘The zoo with the red pandas!!’…Manor Wildlife Park it is then…on to the zoo!!
We’re quite lucky that we have loads to do around West Wales…but we’re zoo people, and fortunately there are two big zoos about half hour away…we love the walkthroughs at manor, and Gray fancied harassing some Wallabies, so that was our choice today. Only issue was, it was bloody freezing today and the Wallabies weren’t about to leave their cozy shelter in place of being harassed by children trying to force feed them pellets…to be fair, given the choice I don’t think I’d have been out either…not for pellets anyways, maybe a snickers 🤔
We did manage to get close to a few mind which was nice, but had to stop them initiating Alaska into the Wallaby Mob…we know she’d end up leading them eventually…
Quick glance at the Red Pandas…who were putting on a great show during feeding time and then Grayson started complaining he was hungry…so on to the cafe for a pizza it was then…bloody hell, it was rammed here today…manor is great an all, but they really need to up their game with their restaurant options…there was a ‘Mothers go free’ promotion on today, and the influx of people wanting a cheaper day out was mental…which meant there was a huge wait for lunch…it’s ok though, the kids were well behaved and waited patiently…ummm 🙄. Grayson has been on a high since the kids party he attended yesterday (for some reason him and his mate ended up topless and climbing a bouncy castle), and carried on his busyness into today…god help us, please expedite the pizza 🤞
Someone heard our prayers because pizza came rather swiftly, and Grayson channelled his inner Michelangelo (the turtle and not the artist - despite his new found artistry), and hammered half the pizza before the rest of us could have any…it’s ok Gray, I’ll just finish off your crusts 🎻…luckily I order fries too.
Ok we done? Let’s make a move then, it’s bloody freezing here, need to walk about a bit to warm up…’Dad, Dad…look at the Lions!!’…‘they’re not Lions, they’re tigers’…who the hell said that? Some precocious little bugger perked up and schooled Grayson…fuck sake Gray, you know better, don’t embarrass yourself mun…jokes on the kid, little bugger thought he knew his shit that you can decipher lions by their manes…but not all have them, so get back to school and come back when you know better…bloody kids.
Come on then guys, let’s go get corrected on looking at the fat unicorns…to be fair, Grayson must have had his pride hurt because he jumped down the throat of some kid who called a tapir anelephant…yeah take that, Grays back in form…Jordan feeling a little jealous then kicked the family while they were down and corrected the mother who dared to call the Rhea an Ostrich…bewsh…think Alaska was chucking out sass too, but it all came out as jibberish…nice one little loo!!
Oooo and bonus, we managed to hit full documentary channel mode when we witnessed the Tapirs mating…dirty bastards…I obviously got pics and a video…ahh the miracle of life ai…guess the commotion got them in the mood?
We were lazy bastards today and didn’t fancy walking around the rhino enclosure so veered off to see the Gibbons and Squirrel Monkeys instead…oh and while we’re at it…why the hell not take the time to fight a tree…yeah I know, what the hell??!! Whilst we were all admiring the Gibbons, Grayson took umbrage on a random tree and went all Cobra Kai on it…and of course Alaska joined in…you kids ain’t right mun…let’s get out of here before the tree starts fighting back!
So all Gray wanted to do today was play in the play areas…not admire the animals, not enjoy his day with the family…just play in the park, and did not really take kindly that we didn’t want to do the same…so in defiance, Grayson decided to punish us by picking his favourite stone out of his pocket and throwing it in the pond…oh no, you really got us there Gray, not your favourite stone…nooooo…crazy kid. Suffice to say, we weren’t as hurt as he was, but the regret was short lived…you’ll find another favourite stone buddy don’t worry.
Right, back to the stripy Lions, just in time for the tiger talk and demonstration…wait these are tigers??!! Hmmm, Grayson and Alaska assured me they were Lions. Anyways, really cool demonstration of how Tigers hunt, chasing a rabbit up a pole to get their lunch…brilliant! Good talk from the keeper too 👌
Lemurs then? Yeah cool…finally a proper double door system on the enclosure (because for some reason people don’t understand the purpose of a double door system)…the Lemurs were a bit more active than the Wallabies were to be fair…one even decided to treat us to a show…eating their poop…hmmm, not quite the delicacy I’m used to, but glad your enjoying I guess…cool walkthrough area, and the ring tails were all huddled together in solidarity to the one being kept in their indoor area because apparently they can’t stop escaping the enclosure…ooops…naughty Lemur.
And by now we were cold and tired and ready to go…quick peek at the Meerkats and old enclosures viewable behind the meerkat enclosure (I like stuff like that), and we were off back home to chill for the rest of the day.
It’s been a bloody cold, and at times rainy day, but we’ve had fun…may consider an annual pass for here because Grayson lives the place and insists we keep coming…
Chilled evening now catching up on ‘The Last of Us’
Happy Mother’s Day!!
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