Aaaaaaaannnnnd that’s Disney day 1 complete…it’s been a long one, and only now rolling into bed…there’s been smiles and tantrums all round…and that’s just from Grandma…probably because only 5 people have been run over by grandma and her scooter (aka rolling thunder) today and 4 of those were me and Jo!!! There’s always tomorrow grams…here we go then…
Alarm goes off at 5am…FML, I don’t fancy this today…right up we get then kids…it’s Disney time…poor Gray, a harsh mixture of excitement and tiredness a shivering mess…Dad…do I look good? Yeah you always do buddy…yeah you got some mental bed hair going on, but your rocking it…mickeys gonna lose his shit.
Anyways, happy Easter guys, here’s a few eggs and chocolate rabbits…you can’t eat them though, can’t get your nice clean clothes dirty to meet Mickey…they can be a post firework snack tonight…sound good? No? Annnnnyyyywaaayyy…let’s go get grandma and make a move to ‘Franks’…no it’s France Gray, you’ll get it one day I’m sure.
First order of business, panic buy a ‘UK’ magnet…I’d heard I require one to travel abroad, but I’m not much of a seasoned traveller, so neglected to prepare and so had a last minute magnet run to Tesco last night…but alas, apparently they’re not an essential…luckily the tunnel shop was open…phwew…
Now that debacle was sorted, everything else was smooth sailing…well, whatever the train version of that is anyways…smooth railing? Bugger knows…anyways, following on in my ‘careers for people that hate people’ series (check out my Spotify podcast)…PASSPORT CONTROL!!
This guy was a bit of an unnecessary dick to be fair…I had to literally physically bring Gray and Alaska out of the back seats and present them to this guy…ahh nothing like a bit of ‘musical children’ first thing in the morning….Oh and a cheeky little random selection for a bomb check while we’re at it too…great stuff…bloody Chanel tunnel!!
Early train across…literally only a handful of cars, and we were the last one…of course me and Gray needed a toilet run…come in then bud, it’s in the last cabin…I swear we were walking an endless row of carriages…before we knew it, we were out of the tunnel and in France…bugger…
And this I where I came up with the game show…TUNNEL RUN!!!….me and Gray literally legged it back through to the car just before unloading…simple it seems? Ahhh but not when you have to frantically press a button to open a lock, to press a button to open a door at each carriage…no that’s an art…picture the Crystal maze when the team has 5 seconds left and they’re trying to get out of the room…that was us…success though, Tunnel Runs first contestants were winners, and the prize was a 3:30 hour journey to Disneyland…yay??!!
Long bloody Journey that consisted of a crash on a toll booth, which for some reason another traveller decided that the crashed car was fair game to try and hurry though the booth, and Grayson declaring his abject hatred for France…we’ve only seen the highways so far bud, Disney soon, I promise…well in another 2 hours or so bud….just think of Mickey!!
Sequoia Lodge, finally…Grayson hating France a little less now…fab.
Unload car, check in…fire up the Mag signal, it’s time to unleash the Mags Mobile (aka Margaret’s Magical Mobile…aka the doom buggy)…yep, time for Grandma to fulfil her bloodlust and ride out on her mobility scooter…to be fair, she’s getting the hang of it…well that’s what I thought until I saw her Austin Powers in a narrow hallways by the lifts (you know the scene!!)…even Alaska was fed up of it…so fed up that she rang the alarm bell…’hello, do you need help in the lift’….no we’re good thanks…bloody hell loo.
Right, let’s get a move on, it’s 2pm and all we’ve seen of Disney is the lift lobby…ahhh home!! We’re a proper Disney family, we haven’t been here since before Covid, but it feels the same…except for the demolition of a few restaurants and the endless construction walls…Magic!!
First up, Autograph book, Giant pen, and a balloon…the Disney kids staple…let’s so how long this lasts ey?…now it’s lunch time so let’s get some food…it’s bloody busy here…cut around to Frontierland for some BBQ…oh and a Goofy meet and greet…Ah Goofy is Grays fave, well second to Pete anyways…eventually got to meet him, and Gray was all business before pleasure…sign this book, then we can talk…that it Gray, no messing around…time for food then…Cowboy cookout it is…bloody hell it’s manic here…and Alaska has just started a hangry tantrum…what are the chances…bit of BBQ sorted that sharpish though, and just in time to get in to the Lion King Show
Lion king - Rhythm of the Pride Lands - heard really good things, couldn’t wait to see it…front of the line, doors open, mags is revving her engine…and we’re off…cue a stampede similar to that which offed Mufasa…bloody hell, you guys know your watching the show and not auditioning for it right??! Some people are dicks aye…anyways, we’re at the front and have a good view of the show…WOW, this is a brilliant show for a theme park, highly recommend it…kids and adults thoroughly enjoyed.
Think everyone enjoyed…well everyone except the poor bugger that become the latest victim of the Ty Llwyd Slayer…there was a mass of people leaving the auditorium and…bewsh…full speed ahead, some guy goes down begging for mercy…Grams doesn’t let him off that easy…bloody hell grandma, just leave go of the throttle…‘well it’s his own fault, he walked in my way’…yeah he did to be fair, he needed to be taught a lesson I guess…hobble off with what little pride you have left bud…I’m just grateful she wasn’t targeting me for a change to be fair.
Big Thunder Mountain then…quick child swap and Gray had been on with me and Jo…he bloody loved it…BTM is such an awesome ride, and much better than Orlando’s version…Phantom Manor next, only 5 minutes…bargain, let’s get to it…not before Jordan became victim number 3 for the day though…must have given Mags a funny look or something, but Grandma had ploughed her over twice for good measure…”If she thinks that’s bad, wait til I go full speed”…god help us…oh and remember that balloon that we’d bought the kids at the start of the day…yeah well it was winding Gray up so he punched it free…must have been possessed by Mags momentarily.
Phantom Manor and Pirates both done…again, much better here in France than Orlando…just better…we love them, and the kids do too…even if Alaska was having a Power Nap on Phantom Manor.
Little run around the Labyrinth and a quick toilet stop where Grayson decided to deny some poor woman entrance to the women’s toilets because ‘you’re a man!!’…cue the shame from Jordan….and on to Plaza Gardens for character buffet dinner…nice place, decent atmosphere…expensive as hell for a buffet…nothing special like…but we did eventually get to meet Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, Pluto, Eeyore and Tigger…well after an hour and half there and half the characters initially ignoring us…must have been terrified of Mags…anyways, the kids loved it, and the smiles on their face was worth everything…they really do bring out the magic of Disney…it’s lush.
Just in time for the nighttime spectaculars, let’s get a good spot…ahhh only half hour to go…bloody hell this place gets crowded, and as soon as the show starts, people appear out of nowhere to obstruct you…nothing quite like living vicariously through someone else’s phone camera ey?
Anyways, luckily I’m tall, and strong enough to hold the kids for half hour because the shows were awesome…the drone show is insane…like it’s only flying the number 30 around the castle in different forms for 5 mins to music, buts it’s mind blowing…so good…and the fireworks…well…Disney never disappoints, and the kids faces…blown away…love it…but that’s us done for the Disneyland Nighttime shows this holiday…we’ll do the studios Tuesday though…
Only the million or so people to wade though on the way out then…I’ll drive your scooter mags, you just sit there and relax, there’s too much temptation for you here…right, just make your way though the exit barrier on your own and I’ll be through to take over again…ahhhhh bloody hell, she’s off again…full speed ahead, into the barriers…there was fire, there were blood curdling screams as she attempted to plough through the masses…luckily she only hit a barrier…poor Grams, really has been getting the hang of this today too…she’s be racing circles around us by the end of the time we’re here now….
Back to the hotel incident free to shower and sleep…knackered…little later start tomorrow I think :)
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