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Writer's pictureDean Fletcher

Minions and much much more - Florida 23 Day 3

Yay, it’s Volcano Bay day!!…or not, weather is bloody overcast and grey again…bloody hell, wish I’d learn to look outside before donning the usual summer Florida requirement of sun screen…this factor 50 is wasted this holiday. Guess I’ll withdraw my lovely little 2 piece and dress a little more appropriately for a day at the parks instead. Good thing I brought more pink shorts and a snazzy jazzy Universal Monsters shirt.


Jordan you alive? “Hmphmmm”…I’ll take that as a yes…I’m off for a walk to the main building to grab a coffee…some form of zombified acknowledgement follows…too much choice, I’ll take a Starbucks I think, though so did everyone else by the looks as an hour later I was having calls off Jordan about to send the search party out looking for me…damn that was an a long wait for disappointing coffee. I did manage to have a mooch around the shops in the meantime mind, call the kids and drop $100 all before 8:30…ahhhh holidays ey. “When are you coming home?”…aww Alaska are you missing me? I won’t be much longer babes…”no dad she said she wants that unicorn bag”…”yeah the unicorn bag, the unicorn bag!!”…bloody hell mun, if you’re good then Santa Florida may very well bring you one…bloody kids not missing me at all, I don’t know whether I’m happy or sad about that :(


Back to the room, and to my surprise Jordan is awake, and half dressed…it’s a Halloween miracle!! Come on, off to Universal Studios to start today…back on the bus, this walking malarkey is gonna be the death of us.


Obligatory pics of the Voodoo Donut chair, universal globe and Studios entrance, and all whilst being blinded by the sun…it is there, it just refuses to be warm. Bloody Welsh Florida weather!! Managed to strategically select the longest entrance line, of course…we’re pros at that for sure. Honestly, how hard is it to just scan your card and take a finger print…it’s beyond me! Morning rage initiated, and only one thing to solve it…destroying shit in Villain Con Minion Blast!!


This was a brand new ‘ride’ that has mixed reviews across the board…I was expecting good things from an attraction that replaced SHREK 4D!! It was good in it’s time, but

Minion blast was the new kid on the block, complete with an in app sync to your blasters and digital collectibles throughout…sounds easy enough…until your gun/app doesn’t sync, and instead of playing as ‘Grunij’, the most badass villain of all time, I ended up being Fiend 82 or some shit like that…I spent so much time stressing over my lack of potential collectibles that I let Jordan beat me…heartbreak. Between that, and the fact that the game is just a free for all madness where If you knew what was going on, you’d have to have a psychological evaluation, Jordan ended up beating me…it’s a bloody fix clearly.


Time to drown my sorrows in some PX-41 punch and the Antidote minion drinks in Minion cafe!! It’s only 11am, but having seen the queues in early afternoon yesterday, we opted for a queue free mid morning lunch. This cafe is soooo well themed, lots of fun, very miniony, and easy to order…2 souvenir drinks and a meatball mountain between us, and following the standard photoshoot of random shit in the cafe, we’d had enough and decided to hit Rip Ride Rockit...using our free express passes from yesterday...booyah!


No idea why this ride gets so much hate…it’s fantastic, and we managed to hack into the secret song menu, which meant that I had some Iron Maiden accompanying me on my journey, whilst Jordan chose some Breaking Benjamin…I know I know, why the hell did I marry her? She’s got some decent qualities like her hatred for Metallica for example…good stuff!


Meet and Greet with the OG bad boy Megatron fresh from his ass kicking at the hands of Optimus Prime, and quick ride on Transformers to see how the battle all unfolded whilst riding inside of autobot Evac…poor bugger (insert inappropriate joke here).


Quite fancied the Horror Makeup Show for a change…haven’t seen this in about 8 years so was pleased to see absolutely nothing had changed at all. Same people, same gags, same props…always fun though. A highlight before we even started was the countdown the show attendant gave unwitting late audience members, throwing them into a panic as he counted down the seconds to allow entry...honestly the sheer panic on some of theirs faces was on par with the show. During the show though, the guy leading the show was hilarious…like laugh out loud funny at points, and no one was off limits…not even Gods Sons Son…aka the little kid in the audience that claimed to be from heaven sired by Jesus. Heckled by descendants of greatness…yeah, the host didn’t much care and just carried on with his bants…sorry kid, never heckle an impromptu show, it’ll never work out well.


Back to Minion blast to gather a little bit of pride, and this time, my gun synced and Jordan learned a valuable lesson…never mess with a guy with glasses…photo evidence is available on request.


The afternoon continued with a browse in the Christmas shop where there were no Fletcher baubles, but where the only choice in ‘F’s available was  Finn and Fred…umm ok then...traditionally popular American names. Diagon Alley for some icecream…or not, bollocks to the queue, missed the Dragon fire, and lost humiliatingly to Jordan in Men In Black, and I’d had an absolute titfull of the Studios for the day.


Back to Islands where the only thing I’d lose at was the will to live in the Hadgrids line…maybe a little later on. First though, a quick ride on Jurassic Park River Adventure because it’s not just enough to be cold, but for some reason, we found the best time to ride was as the temps were dropping further…cold and wet…yay :(


Following my quick trip to hypothermia city, population me…we opted to close the park with a ride on Hagrids…my god this is a completely different experience in the dark…like a night out on a moped hammering through some welsh castle ruins…well not quite, but it was throwing some major Merthyr Moped crew meets Cardiff Castle vibes. It was amazing though, and Jordan even let me (begrudgingly) ride on the motor bike seat…excellent, and may even be tipping the bar from Velocicoaster at night.


We’ve had a busy day, so closing it with a meal in Toothsome. Excellent food, even if Jordan’s was served with 3 bacon rashers covered in chocolate. It’s sounds weird, it is weird, and it adds nothing to the dish…but worth trying in spite.


Bloody knackered now though, and the bus stop was as far as we could muster the energy to walk to…back the Cabana Bay, back to bed, back to sleep.


HHN is tomorrow night…cannot wait!


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