SANTA!!!

Ok ok…so first little blog entry since we’ve been back from America…life’s not as interesting on the daily, but it’s the festive period so…busy day…Santa, Christmas trees and some festive decoration…a nice family day…

Leisurely start to the morning, 8am start…what’s a lie in? Myself and Jo had gone out last night too…but we’re awkward anti-socialites (well I am) so were back home before the stroke of midnight, and before the mini clubman turned back into an aubergine (I’m still in Disney mode)…Breakfast, animal feeds, chill with the kiddos…it’s Calendar day 4, and we have a load of them…Grayson is like our very own Willy Wonka, dishing out chocolates like they’re going out of fashion…just day 4 please Gray…’you sure you don’t want day 10 dad’…nah your alright bud, let’s at least try stick to the calender for a week or so…anyways we have a busy day planned…off to see SANTA!!!

First though, Christmas is coming (well in 3 weeks, but this house needs sorting) so no time like the present (ha…get it??!!) to sort some bits out before the havoc of the festive period.

What better time than to finally unpack from the holiday we came back from 3 weeks ago…bloody hell where did all the kids cloths come from?!!…guess today is the day we finally sort through their wardrobes to make a little space…a little space?!…5 sacks later and we were off to donate a shit ton of clothes…after a leisurely tour of Ammanford we finally found somewhere…right next to our house…ffs mun…anyways turns out Jordan shouldn’t have been left unsupervised because most of what she decided to get rid of was good shit…bloody nightmare!

Back home then, time to get ready to see Santa…festive clothes please kiddies. Classic festive dinosaur jumper for Gray…now I’m not sure what version of the nativity you’ve all heard, but apparently, there was a dinosaur carrying a tree to meet baby Jesus…that happened right?! I don’t even think the schools know the classics anymore mind…next week Grayson is turning up as a singing Camel to his Christmas play, and assures me his mates are going as lions…sure the be interesting I guess. Alaska opts for a full on Santa suit in a crass attempt to psych out Santa…ballsy move loo loo.

Predictably, trying to get decent pics of the kids in the outfits went well…is what I would say if I had normal kids…these little monkeys are crazy and decided that now was the time for a festive dance off…Loo Loo broke out in a little interpretive dance to ‘Last Christmas’, whilst Gray gave a more in your face dance to ‘Christmas Time…Don’t let the bells end’…couldn’t choose a winner…well not until Mags burst into the room in a sparkly pair of glasses and equally sparkly platforms, kicking up a banging version of ‘Step Into Christmas’…good job mags, you showed them how to do it.

Come on the kids, let’s go tell Santa of your disappointing dance moves. Oh and by the way Gray, you gotta start behaving, Santas been watching and you’ll not get any presents for Christmas…wish that worked on him…

Ahh bugger, there’s a pissing 8ft castle in the back of the van…it’s Loo loos Christmas present and can’t fit through the front door, so lives in the van temporarily (can’t wait to construct that on Christmas Eve…ah well, fun for another day)…let’s empty this Jo…how we gonna cover it from the rain…yep, 4 of our trusty ponchos…saving the day again.

Gower Fresh Christmas Trees then…Santas grotto, Tree Picking, Marshmallows and Reindeer…brilliant. Great little grotto there, a little random at parts but good fun…poor loo wanted to show off her Santa outfit, but just ended up shivering like she’d actually journeyed to the South Pole to work as Santa…Jacket on please Alaska, you’ll catch a cold…the cold didn’t spoil the fun though, the kids had a great time working they’re way through the grotto, and got to meet Anna and Elsa!!! Again!!

Alaska’s face lit up and she legged it to see them…’what you doing?!!’…she can’t speak much, but she can speak well enough to question Anna and Elsa’s existence on a cold mountain in South Wales…aww nevertheless she was beaming with joy and had a lovely photo with them next to her awkward looking brother…

Ooo time to actually meet Santa then…oh the poor elves here have to speak in an America accent too, which is…umm odd, especially considering the strong welsh accent that most people here have…poor elves.

Anyways, now was the time, let’s meet the big man…Grayson locked eyes with him…’fuck, does he know how naughty I actually am?’…stare him out Gray, get in his mind and convince him otherwise…’have you been a good boy?’…’yeah of course’…bloody liar!!…

Ah he’s good as good really, just a mischievous little 4 year old, excited as hell for Christmas. Now Gray was a little shy, but Alaska…we couldn’t stop here talking…no idea what she was on about, but she was having a whale of a time…off to get your presents then guys…and meet Mrs Clause…the kids bloody loved it mun!

Let’s get the tree then…fuck this is a difficult task, we rarely agree on what to choose, but not sure if it was the bitter cold that made us hurry up, or the fact we’ve got used to it after 9 years, but we chose quick…this tree would look boss…it was also mags and kid approved…and only £60…WIN!!

It’s ok though, the money I saved on the tree I was screwed out of by forking out £3.50 for a stick of 3 marshmallows to toast. That was a barrel of laughs mind, sword fighting with strangers over the only fire pit they had…fuck it, who doesn’t like toasted marshmallows? Pretty much everyone I reckon…burned gooey sugar treats…bloody awful. Can’t quite see why the kids were fighting over them.

Let’s get out of here…it’s bloody freezing and my nipples are feeling frost bitten.

Little shuffle around of the room and tree into its usual place…bit shorter than usual thankfully…I’m an old man now and can’t be scaling the tree to put the topper on.

Few lights, some beads and a million bloody baubles…we used to have a stylised tree, but we’re a family, so in family tradition we now have a million random Disney and sentimental baubles to add…I bloody love it though, so lush to have our memories on the tree and add every year!!

Thankfully Alaska saved us the trauma of ‘helping’ decorate the tree by having a nap, but Grayson did not afford us the same help…don’t touch the glass baubles Gru…last year you smashed a load of them…just the little plastic ones please bud…we can sacrifice them, oh and the Jack Sparl one…who? Oh yeah, that’s a Jack Sparrow one Gray…please don’t smash that one too.

Anyways, 2 hours of trauma and we were all festived out…yay…time to chill…and buy another £67 worth of Disney baubles for some reason…this time Jordan’s madness and not mine for once.

Encanto on the cinema screen for family movie night and then off to bed…Work and School tomorrow…great day!!! only 3 weeks until Christmas…can’t wait!!