Awakened by a video call from Paigey…the kids wanted to say hello…well, that’s what I was told, but Grayson gave a quick “Hi Dad” before shooting back off to play and Alaska was just angry that I had disturbed her lunch to chat and say hello…nice to see they are missing me.
No time to dwell on the dismay of my children actually not being too bothered about me being away, it’s Florida, and as we all know, that means there’s no time to rest, so up I get ready to start my day…surely to be followed by Jordan about an hour later. Word had spread that it was freezing at home, so couldn’t wait to spend the next few days in the glorious warmth and sunshine of Orlando…I really should have looked out the window before donning a bucket load of sun screen. It’s bloody overcast and cold today…damn it!!
I foolishly only brought one sweater with me, but never fear, it’s a perfect excuse to buy my first piece of HHN merch…ya know, I need it before I freeze to death mun.
Right, Jordan is finally up, so off to Islands of Adventure for the day…they open an hour earlier for hotel guests, so it’s a good time to get a head start on Velocicoaster. We’d learned our lesson from the night before, and opted against walking or using the water taxi (the latter I was suffering PTSD from after some woman subtly demonstrated British prejudice and called me Harry Potter…you know because Danny Rads is a 6ft3 Welshman. In reality, this lady spotted my vulnerability for sight and went for it, cheers love)…instead we tried out the shuttle bus…ooooo. Not to bad to be fair, apart from being crammed on with so many people that I couldn’t tell if I had my hand in my pocket or the blokes next to me (it was mine thankfully). We got there rather swiftly and only had to traverse the moving walkways and security checks before getting into IOA half hour before the rest of the rabble were allowed in.
First stop was Guest services to switch over my badly printed paper tickets for some brand spanking new top of the line...paper tickets - this time printed by universal…oh and there was this whole mess with an access card that Jordan had been granted by universal, only to have them pull the metaphorical rug from under her and tell her to get a wheelchair or never darken their doorway again. Nice one Universal, not only have you delayed my potential to hit Velocicoaster earlier than the rest of the guests, but you’ve set Jo in a rage already…it’s not even 9am mun.
Things can only get better…and they did! Yes we were overtaken by roughly a million people on the way to Velocicoaster, yes we had to wait over an hour in a line that said it was only 40mins, but we ended up back row of the best coaster in Florida; and the back row after that top hat feels soooo much better than anywhere else on the train. Well worth it.
Next stop was Hogsmead, and had to take a ride on Hagrid…not the guy, that would be distasteful, his ride…anything under a 2 hour wait is a good shout, so seeing a 90 minute wait made us pick up the pace, fight off some young hoodlums for the free lockers and get a wiggle on before word spread.
Hagrids magical creatures motorbike adventure, and that it was, even including the queue…filled with some great props, memories of Hagrid, views of the castle, and …oh yeah some bloke showing off his plant fertilising skills by continually sneezing into plants…have some of that you Mandrake bastards!! Guess we can’t really complain… Jordan ended up farting her way up the path.
Ever the gentleman, I allowed Jordan to take the motorbike whilst I pitifully rode in the side car…for anyone in the know, allowing your loved one to ride the motorbike is the ultimate show of love, and those who deny it clearly hate their partner 🙄…I’m assured that next time we ride, I will again be riding the sidecar…great.
Forbidden journey next to amble through Hogwarts, watch the founders of the school kick off, and see what mischief Harry Potter and his band of merry scoundrels can come up with next…only this time, with a whole bunch of unwitting theme park goers in tow…how this boy is thought of as the saviour of the wizarding world is beyond me. Bloody brilliant (thanks Ron) ride mind, the technology blows my mind…super underrated.
Little browse around Honey dukes for a bit, nothing makes you feel more Harry Potter than perusing chocolate frogs and jelly beans flavoured with vomit…yum yum. Think we chose well when we opted for a bar of chocolate covered caramel for lunch (these were delicious unlike the caldron cake I unwittingly pissed away money on last year).
On a sugar high, we decided to mix it up a bit and travel to Kings Cross via the Hogwarts express…no idea why they don’t offer this as a viable form of transport instead of Flights…our flight took 9 and a half hours yesterday, and we made it to London in about 10 minutes this morning…seriously, you want the wizarding world to be accepted, then share it with the muggles.
Peruse around the shops, knockturn alley and a never ending wait for Gringotts dragon to unleash fiery hell over Diagon Alley, and we decided we’d had enough Harry Potter for the day…let’s see what else is about then.
On to Springfield for some lunch…well, it would have been for lunch if it hadn’t have been for a never ending queue for any food item available…nah balls to that, I’ll just partake in some Dufftoberfest Ale please barkeep…delicious, but really hits on an empty stomach…I must be honest, I was starting to empathise with Jordan from yesterday. Let me tell you though, it did make waiting in line that little more fun and little quicker…bloody hell Dean, get your shit together. Turkey leg for a Jordan then, and I swear she’s still a little pissed from the sniff of cocktail she had last night…who uses a Turkey leg as a penis…Jordan, that’s who…wonderful.
Come on you bloody hooligan, Tribute store is waiting…THIS PLACE WAS AWESOME!!! Themed to a comic strip, full of HHN merch (yes we’ve established I have no self control when it comes to this…by now I was a walking Horror Nights advertisement), and just amazing. Only bought a comic book mind…I’m struggling to justify spending my whole weeks worth of money on the first full day.
Mummy, shops, shops, shops and back to Islands of Adventure, where we yet again visited some shops…have to buy for the kids, I’ve been warned that they need at least 5 presents each, and I dare not anger them.
Enough of that now, on to get stuck on hulk…fortunately it was after we had already ridden it. It literally just ceased working right before we taxied back into the loading area…great, and I was stuck next to the American versions of Kevin and Perry. Time stood still, and the constant chirping in my ear was beginning to drive me mad…thank god for the boss man in a lab coat, complete with walkie talkie arriving to free us before I chewed my way out…freedom!!! And a free fastpass for our troubles…lovely.
Park was closing soon so hit up Kong next, and then pegged it to V-coaster so one last go around the raptor paddock…it’s so much better at night, and by the time we got to ride it was pitch black…amazing…and now we were knackered, but got to experience Islands an hour after closing.
And that’s basically us done for the day…walked a million miles back to Cabana Bay, evening meal at the hotel food court, cheeky Starbucks, and early doors ready to attempt Volcano Bay tomorrow…if the weather sorts itself out.
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