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Writer's pictureDean Fletcher

The Arendelle Drum Line. Florida 2024: Day 2


Today’s late breakfast Topolinos reservations meant a much needed lie in…nope. This time it was Grayson’s turn to wake up at the crack of dawn and crow like a little high pitched Rooster. Thanks for that Gray Gray, didn’t need that massive 6hr sleep anyways. To be fair, I needed the wake up. I had a date with the post office. Following my failure to secure a money order from Walmart yesterday evening, I was pointed in the direction of the good ole USPS to help me negate my guilt from running a cash toll booth. Great stuff, $5 later I finally had a clean conscience, and would now be able to sleep at night without the worry of a bounty hunter attempting to hunt me down to reclaim $1.25. I hear these turnpike debt collectors are serious and will only accept cheques, money orders or blood.


Quick detour to Target (since I’m out) to grab a little autumnal delight…a PSL creamer to accompany my morning coffee. Home made autumn in a glass (well, paper cup)…smells like spooky season. Though, this little detour did have me explaining to Jordan why I was parked next to a Starbucks on my location tracker. I get the suspicion, I’m a bit of an addict, but I’m innocent on this one.


Back at base, I come up with a decent lie as to why I was near a Starbucks (I told her I was out with another woman…luckily she was less angry with this), and quickly erase the scent of pecan latte from my breath before heading out for the day.


On return to base camp, I was greeted with the toy stormtrooper army protecting the room, with their vicious Cat-Madillo Lucy as back up. No wonder we’re on day 2 and still have not had housekeeping in…we’ve all seen Small Soldiers, I wouldn’t chance it.


Finally catch up with the gang at the play area, where the kids were pixie dusted with some Disney figure (thanks mystery stranger, that’s one less toy I have to fork out millions on) and Jordan is begrudgingly watching on as the kids have fun whilst she bakes in the early morning Florida sun. By now, the fun had ensured that Grayson had become sweaty mess of a kid, which sent Jordan into a fit of rage as he had been dressed in Character Meet and Greet attire, and now looked like someone that was about to lose the million dollar question after their phone a friend had told them that they had no idea what the answer was (yes I know it’s not relevant anymore, but the planes on board entertainment consisted of ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire’). “It’s not funny I’ve been playing hard”…ok, umm…maybe a little less hard next time please Gray, at least not before meeting characters. Play medium if you must.


Anyways…following a quick pit stop in the room to tidy up old sweaty features, we finally made our way to Topolinos!! Damn this place is too classy for us wild Welsh rabble. Lovely mosaics, lush gardens and a general chilled out vibe…ruined by two crazy kids doing all they could to make sure the Riviera knew the Fletchers were in town. Yep, this place is definitely classy for us…even the soap in the toilet had a shine to it.


Right, so what did we think? Value for money? This breakfast was awesome…honestly, we had a great time. Lovely basket of pastries to start, served in an artists paint pot. And a choice of meals with coffee and juice included. Meal was delicious, and the place is nice and open and specious. The characters made it to us more than once, which gave Alaska a good chance to meet them with little micro aggressions, hammering the outfits they were wearing, and picking on their shoes of all things…little fashionista…maybe you could have had more of an input if you weren’t wearing sparkly crocs.


The waiter we had here was fab too…took every opportunity to wind the kids up, which is obviously encouraged by myself and Jo, and was great with them in general. The characters were also dressed really cool in different artsy gear, which gave Alaska inspiration to spread her culinary artistry and set the trend of ‘Le sausage de chocolat’…yeah, no idea why she thought a chocolate dipped sausage would be setting a culinary trend…regret was all she accomplished this morning.


Quick check on the surrounding terrace views which were pretty amazing and we were ready to declass ourselves once more, remove our tuxedos and monocles and head to Epcot. Oh, and there’s a storm coming at some point…just a little hurricane, no biggie…it always storms when we are here it seems…must be bad people. Ah well.


Entry to Epcot sparks the great Land/Sea debate…the Land pavilion clearly being the superior just for Living with the Land. So clearly, the winner is…Figment. Wait what? Yeah, well, I won, we were heading Landward, and Grayson chucks a figment shaped spanner in the works. Ok ok.


Terrible ride, and poor Alaska lost her pixie dusted Pluto figure…which despite me seeing exactly where it was, the cast members had Pluto blindness and failed to believe it existed. Hmm, I’m not saying they were lying to me…but they were lying to me. Fine, keep your Pluto, live on knowing Alaska was devastated at the loss of a toy she had conned someone into giving her about an hour earlier. Poor little Loo.


Finally…following the Great Pluto Toy Theft of 2024, we were able to put the pain and trauma behind us and head to Living with the Land or as it became to be known…The Great Hidden Mickey Hunt. Seriously, there are hidden Mickeys littered through the ride, and Grayson is adamant that he spotted them all…I’m sure he was making them up just to win the grand prize of absolutely nothing. Sorry kids, your lies will get you nothing but bad karma, which came in the form of Alaska almost breaking her hand on his face…when will you learn Gray? Anyways, it’s great to see agriculture and farming in Epcot…and it’s thought provoking to see the live slaughter house element of it, though the kids are now scarred for life (credit to Jordan for that).


Ooo…Our Cosmic Rewind lightening lanes are soon…yay, Grayson literally could not wait to ride this, and coupled with his mass dehydration from the mornings hard playing, was in need of some hydration. Cool Club (or Club Cool, I forget which was round it is) it is then. Grayson is a little scarred from last time he accepted free Coca Cola products from us in this place and carefully selected his own beverages…sorry little Loo…it’s Beverly time. Bloody hell mun, her resolve to not give us the satisfaction of laughing at her drink this minging concoction was almost as bitter as the drink itself. Straight faced, she stared us in the eyes and took another big sip…”I like it!”. Damn Girl, you’re scary…if you know, you know.


Still reeling from watching Alaska do a shot of Bev, chased by some Watermelon side we hit up Guardians.

THIS…RIDE…IS…INSANE! It’s an incredible coaster, that Grayson loved so much, he gave his highest compliment…a scream of enjoyment. The Grayson equivalent of a Paul Hollywood handshake. Well done Disney, we’ll be setting up the award ceremony ASAP.


Jordans turn, and Grayson took the opportunity to mess up his hiding place to ‘scare mammy’. Poor little thing, only want a to induce a mild infarction on her for pure shits and giggles.


Feeling sorry for himself at the fact that Jordan had not succumbed to the panic inducing fear that Grayson would have unleashed upon her, we had a pit stop at Brew-Wing…the muppets very own food booth, with food designed to make you think “wtf is this??!!”. They certainly accomplished this with the Pickle milkshake. God knows why I bought it, I knew it would taste as if you had hand smashed pickles in a glass of milk, but I eyed up the souvenir glass (plastic jar) and stickers and thought, ‘yeah, that’s $6 well spent’…it was not. The Garlic Parmesan wings were so damn good that they altered Grayson’s physical form. “I’m a proper carnival”…I think you mean carnivore Gray…glad to see you’re enjoying though. Little Carnival, you.


Right, let’s travel around the world. The only real way to start…Mexico, and what better place to watch Grayson bully Jordan into riding the three musketeers…wrong film, wrong nationality…just wrong Grayson. Ah whatever…Donald and his mates playing hell through Mexico. Shit ride, but need to ride every time.


On to better things, and Alaska, Grayson and Jordan join the Arendelle drum line in an attempt to make a group of people waiting in a 55 minute line to ride Frozen Ever After so angry that they leave. Wishful thinking, poor execution. Now stop hammering hell out of those barrels, you’re doing my head in. “I loved that, but Elsa had a weird neck”😂. That she did Alaska. But at least she had a face…that was a bit messed up the last time we came.


Almost time to call time on our Epcot day…Karamell Kuche, and time to resist buying up the entirety of the store…everything looks delicious, and I could feel my arteries getting narrowed just being in the shop. Death has a new name, and his name is Werther. Narrowly escaping with our lives, a bag of popcorn and a cake helped to sustain us long enough to partake in the ‘Epcot Popcorn Challenge’. A game so secretive, it rivals only Fight Club. First one to land a piece of popcorn in Alaskas mouth gets the privilege of picking Bampy up from the airport…yay! Just like Thanos, my victory is inevitable…after littering the grounds of the Germany pavilion with half a bag of delicious, diabetes inducing popcorn, I potted a hole in one…


VICTORY!!! Time to claim my prize. And just like magic…Chris had landed. He’s here for a 3 day stint of babysitting duties in the Tropical abyss that is hurricane ridden Florida. Wait what? Hopefully not.


Chris is over to look after the kids for us to go to HHN tomorrow night. I’m not saying we are HHN obsessed…but yeah, we are ‘fly your dad out, just to babysit the kids so we can enjoy a few hours of being scared’ obsessed with HHN…and it may not even be on due to the storm…bugger.


Anyways…Terminal C pickup was like a scene from an end of the world disaster movie. Bodies everywhere. Cars doing whatever the hell they wanted…police being ignored, looting the terminal, zombies running the streets…you know the drill. Ok ok, last part may be a little over exaggerated, but it was a lawless mess of a pickup area. Chris spots me, piles in the car and we get out of there before the police start getting all tasery.


We spend the next hour adding Chris to the rental car, and regaling his traumatic flight at the hands of Norse airlines (he basically wore all his clothes onto the flight to avoid a £64 bag fee), and it’s time to head home. Pizza and burgers for dinner and a less than early night.


HHN and Universal tomorrow…if the weather sorts its shit out.

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