‘‘Twas the night before Halloween…” and it was pumpkin picking time…gotta carve up some pumpkins to scare off the evil spirits and all that.
What better place than our usual haunt of Gower Fresh Christmas Trees…for Pumpkins…hmmm. Strange I know, but they have found a way to stretch the business around for all seasons. So pumpkin picking in the pumpkin patch it was…hooray!!
Now, it took a while to get everyone ready this morning, for some reason, the usual trauma was extended and we found it difficult to get out of the house before midday…I blame Mags (no idea why).
It’s been raining so much lately that I’ve been collating my animals into pairs in preparation for the incoming flood…that and giving my mate Noah a shout to make sure he’s sorted the arc out for the winter. All I could get hold of was some bloke called Steve who had strung together a trio of jet skis though, bad times…sorry animals, there will be losses. Anyways, all that to highlight that we had to get together the kids coveralls and welly boots in anticipation for traversing the mud mountain that the pumpkin patch would surely be…wonderful, my bloody welly’s have several holes in them, which kind of defeats the point of them…fabulous.
Annnnyways…quick pit stop to check on the Alpaca boys to see how they are faring in this weather…and yeah, they’re West Walian Alpacas, so are used to this kind of weather…so on we head to play hunt the pumpkin yay.
Finally arrive to be greeted with a charge of £5 to simply enter the car park…well, I was raging…£5 for the pleasure of meandering through a muddy field to pick through some pumpkins that had been kicked half to death by some unruly 4 year olds…yeah thanks for that mate. I was told it was due to the popularity of the ensuing Halloween disco run by the resident local entertainer…FML…Grayson does just as good a job on the old Alexa mixing decks…”ALEXA, PLAY THE MONSTER MASH!!”…turns out I could have avoided the charge by simply not paying it, but I’m too damn honest…not like they’re gonna screw me over on overpriced pumpkins.
Right, site fee paid (begrudgingly to the very pleasant staff), and on we venture toward the field of nightmares…quick change into our gear, Mags left behind to warm the seats in the Van (I can’t be dragging her up and down the field…though I did momentarily think of utilising the complimentary wheelbarrows as a makeshift wheelchair), and on we go.
Pumpkin corpses littered the fields, like the slaughter of Halloweentown, and Jack the Pumpkin King had lost the war…serves him right for scamming us all into thinking he was Santa that one year…half of them had been smashed to bits, by what I can only imagine were various raging children who had been disillusioned by the pick your own theatrics and took their anger out on the stock…poor things.
Now this was going to be a challenge, we had been instructed to find the perfect pumpkin for Jordan…this is the time of year she brings her artistic flair to the forefront and pretends that she’s bad at it for sympathy likes…some artists choose paint and canvas, so sculpt with clay…but Jordan, Jordan chooses a pumpkin as her mode of artistry…magnifico…she’s bloody good at it to be fair, and they always look great. I’m just along for the ride and will most of the time do a bad hack job of a pumpkin carving…it always looks more impressive in my mind.
So off we go to the Autumnal Arch for a family pic of course…manage to muster up a smile despite all the carnage and the fact that the rain was giving us a break…must have been the umbrella I had strategically brought…A little further on, slipping around the field for the staged pumpkin patch which felt kind of akin to a vegetable version of a canned hunting area…and we manage to find one or two decent looking pumpkins….and then swap them several times throughout the duration of our hunt for a perfectly round pumpkin…would you expect any less?
Some smaller pumpkins for the kiddies, and a pair of smaller pumpkins again to complete our Mickey Mouse ears for one of the models, and we’d had enough…and we had left Mags alone in the car and forgot to crack open the window…thank god it wasn’t a hot day!
Quick pic in the pumpkin photo op at the top of the field and back down we go to see how much the pumpkin free for all was gonna sting me for…ooo a giant seat, kids just had to have a pic in it, and then Gray decided my umbrella needed a pamper session and mud bath…thanks Gray, didn’t want to use it anymore anyways.
Back to the safety of level ground, where we decide that our pumpkins that we had spent the last half hour handpicking were inferior to those that were pre picked opposite the pay station…umm great stuff, let’s swap them over then, maybe someone else wants the inferiors…power wash the chosen ones, and pay way over the odds, and it’s back to the van…
Quick whip back to the top to sample the delights that I had paid for…nothing too great to be fair, though it was nice to see the reindeers, and off for a spot of food at the local Harvester.
Always liked a Harvester, but haven’t been in ages, and not great to see how they punish people who had had gastric surgery by not allowing them a smaller kids meal…or presenting the option to be able to, but as long as they also paid for the salad bar that is usually free…hmmm kind of defeating the point there.
Anyways, substandard meal to be fair, though Grayson did demonstrate his impeccable flirting prowess toward the waitress…”ooo you look cool”…damn kid, you’re a smooth mofo. Oh and he also demonstrated an unnatural ability to eat corn on the cob…like a machine mun!!
Quick potter around after food and back home to mutilate some pumpkins whilst the kids had a nap…I made a really poor attempt at Ghostface that now looks slightly worse than the half smashed pumpkins we had neglected in the fields, whilst Jordan puts a lot of effort into her offering for this year…another bloody poodle…it looks great mind, and I’m half embarrassed to show it next to mine…because mine is so awesome obviously. Bugger it, my Mickey one looks amazing anyways.
And that was the tale of the Fletchers Halloween Eve…Merry Halloween everyone!!
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