So here we are, at the airport, waiting to start our long journey home…fresh from playing the game show ‘how to blow your savings in less than a week’ (we won by the way). It’s been such a good few days away…really needed the sun (when it decided to show) and break from reality…but we are knackered and broken now, and just looking forward to getting home to the kids.
We woke up with a mission today…spend our remaining money…easy enough, the kids have already managed to swindle most of it so far out of pure guilt…and the other half has gone into HHN merch (damn in such a tourist). As a brief spoiler…I managed to piss it all away pretty swiftly, forgetting that I had to pay for a Lyft to the airport, food and a potential hammering of the airport Disney store…Damn, practice self control mun Dean!!
After finally rolling out of bed for the obligatory wake up Starbucks and stroll around the hotel merch shop, I was pleasantly surprised to find Jordan awake, dressed and ready to go when I got back…yeah, ummm that was a little misleading, she was still sleeping. To be fair though, we’ve given Universal an absolute hammering and walked roughly 100,000 steps each in the brief time we’ve been here…mental mun.
Finally get the energy to move and check out and drop off our luggage at the lobby to go enjoy the parks one last time. We have almost a full day to enjoy, and decided to hit up Islands of Adventure, mainly to spend a bit more time in Hogsmead, ride Hagrids and then ride Velocicoaster one more time before we go…hell of a plan, no idea why we haven’t spent much time in Islands this trip…even missed out on riding Spider-Man and The Cat in the Hat, which are personal favourites. We did manage an ad hoc photo shoot with the Grinch mind.
So, straight to Hagrids…only a 90 minute wait, which turned out less than an hour…excellent, the lack of express availability really helps the ride operations and gets people through quick. After the obligatory argument to ride the bike vehicle, which I lost (mainly due to either not wanting a divorce, or worse, being battered by a self proclaimed vicious Welsh hobbit), we were finally ready to ride.
Jordan; with Hagrids assistance revved her bike and off we shot (all whilst I was stuck in the bitch mobile of a side car…it’s still fun, but nowhere near as fun, growing off lady Penelope vibes). All went well until the bastard Devil Snare caught us and we hit the drop, and nothing else happened…we just stayed stationary…in pitch darkness, with only the noise of the oncoming coaster and Hagrids warning of Devil Snare approaching to accompany us. To say my life flashed before my eyes is an understatement…I was absolutely shitting it, had horrific visions of being battered to death by the backside of a motor cycle that Arthur Weasley has bugger up…thanks for that mate.
Finally, voices from the control room…we were to survive the oncoming car and would finally be on the way to the promise of another ride in the death bikes…not sure I want to really, but I knew it was my turn for the bike, and that doesn’t come easily. Following another failed launch, we were finally back to safety, and off on it again. Magical!! Off we go, the wind was blowing in my hair, I felt like Nic Cage in that scene in Con Air…Devils Snare…and STOP. Fuck sake, not again mun…yep, yet again…damn…no free rides this time though…ooo and I did notice that the drop has two sides incase of breakdown, so that people are not slaughted en masse should the ride break down like some sick Wizard burial ground…I knew that Hagrid was a dodgy bugger ai.
All the fear had worked up an appetite, and all the shitting myself due to the possibility of imminent death had freed some room up for lunch…gave Fire Eaters Grill a go…food was decent, but the wait for food was longer than we queued for Hagrids…what’s the point of mobile ordering if you ignore it anyways…don’t you know I’m on a deadline!!! Velocicoaster waits for no one, not even Owen Grady!!
Finish the substandard meal in record time…passing off sour cream as tzatziki is not cool Universal…I mean it didn’t stop me licking the bowl, but still…
Peg it to V coaster a bit sharpish, only a 95 minute wait…DAMN!! It’s ok, we got time, the plane will wait for us I’m sure. 2hrs later we were finally boarding the front row…what a ride, absolutely mental and smoother than action man’s private area…Jordan even managed to keep her hands up over the Mosasaur roll and surprisingly didn’t fall out…shocked! Will miss you Velocicoaster, see you next year.
Damn it’s so hot here today, where was this weather at the start of the week…got me missing the cold mind to be fair…feeling like factor 50 won’t be enough…I’m a pasty white boy, heavily influenced by ginger genes…I won’t cope.
In an effort to avoid spontaneous combustion, we took shelter in the worse place possible, the Jurassic Park store…it’s ok, there won’t be much to buy here…we’ll apart from a Dino mask that Jordan just had to have, and then utilised to become one with the exhibits…Stegosaurus, Brontosaurus, Tyrannosaurus, Kontosaurus…the kids were terrified, and so was I…what am I doing with her mun…not like she followed me around the whole of Jurassic Park wearing it. Some guy even started chasing her with a tranquilliser gun at one point. I had to talk him down because Jordan wouldn’t take the mask off. My god Jordan, I’ve seen method acting, but this is something else…took it a bit far when you attached that family and put the child in hospital mind…what you doing biting him mun!
Aside from the Dino rampage, we had a final frantic shop for last guilt gifts and mopping up the dregs for HHN merch, and as time was ticking on, we thought it best to actually make a move to the hotel to go to the airport.
Quick Cinnabon on the way out though or Paige would never forgive me for being so close to one and only having cookies…I wouldn’t forgive myself either…disgusting behaviour Dean!!
Eat and walk Jo, we’re on a deadline…oh and mind that kid…oops, quick Cinnabon to the face…”why’d you hit me!”…stupid bloody kid walked across Jo into the Cinnabon box…kid if you hit that Cinnabon over you’d have had more that a box to the head…Paige would have been out here to sort you out…stupid bloody kid mun.
Finally back at the hotel, and King FRICKIN Julian is in the lobby…don’t you bloody move, it’s picture time!!! Jordan tackles him to the ground and SNAP…nice little piccy for the collection…thanks you mad little lemur.
Jason from Lyft appears after luggage collection (well after I had booked him to arrive, not like a genie, we ain’t got a magic lamp…closest thing we have is a minion blaster). Nice smooth journey to airport, he didn’t talk at all, and I like that…last thing I want is to make small talk for the sake of it…Jason understands…nice one pal…poor fucker almost had a hernia carrying our bags from the boot mind…we really did overpack…the Spirit of June compels us.
We’re here!!! Bag check. Honestly Jo if you’re over weight I’ll be fucking fuming…nope, it was me, I was a whole kg over weight and was praying to the gods of humiliation to spare my blushes and not charge me for it…phwew, got away with it…didn’t stop Jordan completely roasting me for it mind…yep I had it coming.
Ooo and following our disastrous lack of meals and comfort on the way over I was looking to treat us to an upgrade. Only 1 left though…I do feel kinda bad that I took it…enjoy your trip in economy Jordan!!! Nahhhh I’m nicer than that, and she was listening to make sure I didn’t do it too…gutted.
Quickly through security…makes a change, and oooo there’s a Disney store…bye bye money. Thankfully nothing tickled my fancy, but there was another universal store…ain’t seen one of them in all of an hour or so…wanna look around? Of course…few more bits and pieces and we were really done with all our money…congrats, game completed! Bit of grub before we board…slim pickings of restaurants, but chanced a Shake Shack. Last time we had one, it was terrible, but today…Very Nice. Even if the server did take my name as Pete and I almost missed our order because they kept calling out for Pete…who the hell is Pete!! It really does take a trip to America to make you self conscious about your accent and mumbling…thanks America.
And that’s us done for the day…well barring a flight home. Sat in departures, waiting to board…yay!!! I hate flying!!
See you in about 11 months Orlando, we’ve had an absolute blast!!!
Oh and Happy anniversary Jo...love you millions xx
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