Well…night 2 of Halloween Horror Nights has killed us off, I think we might be dead! Which I guess is quite fitting given the event. We’ve walked our little feet off, and Jordan almost…almost succumbed to injury…but the little trooper soldiered on. We had an absolute blast though, so here’s what we did today…
It’s our last full day, so we’re determined to do Volcano Bay, and luckily the weather was perfect for it…like it’s been boiling today…about bloody time!! Head into the park for early park hours and to hit most of the rides before they start racking up.
Tapu tapu collected, lockers rented…$20 mind, absolutely raging mun!! Never mind, it’s holidays init. Krakatau: The Aqua Coaster up first…boss ride, sat in a banana boat and shot up inclines like a projectile, crazy mun. Honu raft ride next…intense or mild? Yeah let’s do the intense version…seemed like a great idea until we were actually in the raft…and just like sex while camping…it was fucking intense…get it? In tents…intense??…bah bum tss…I’ll see myself out…
Jordan’s had enough already and wants to catch up on 4 days worth of sun in a morning so we headed to find a few sun loungers…hell of a trek, traversing the sandy beaches of Volcano Bay, inadvertently farting in a woman’s face, and hunting for a nice little sun trap, we finally parked up in front of Ko’okiri body plunge…a trap door drop slide that boasted a long assed walk of 209 steps…not sure what would kill you first, the walk up or the drop down, but ooooo I had to try this out…adrenaline junkie and all that jazz. Right, let’s get going…only issue is I have a mild anxiety of heights. Around 182 steps up I had a crisis of confidence, turned and ran back down…the embarrassment hit hard, the walk of shame hurt my pride more that the 182 steps back down did…
“What the hell are you doing back??! I’m trying to sunbathe and you’re blocking my sun”…thanks babe, I can’t do it, scared of heights an all…so there I sat, watching the children about Grayson’s age conquer the slide, having Jordan nattering in my ear about doing it (she wouldn’t either mind you)…all until she whispered the magic words that were like popeyes spinach to me…”if you go on it, I’ll buy you lunch”. Well bugger now she’s done it…and I thought, if she can push past her fears and do something that scares her…then I can do the same. I’ll take that lunch, I’m doing the plunge!!!
“Ahhhh back again is it? Don’t freak out this time!”…bugger the ride attendants noticed me sneaking away, I thought my subtle 6ft3 frame had alluded them…there was no way I could run away a second time…this is it, ride or die boy!!! So here I am, standing in a tube, trap door underneath my feet, drums playing…and 4 seconds later I come arrowing out the other side? Am I dead? Nope just drowning, get out of the pool. I survived…off to do it one more time then, I felt I had to prove to the ride attendants that it wasn’t just peer pressure…I mean in reality it was though, I only went on the second time to act mr billy big balls…I didn’t actually enjoy almost dying.
Few more rides, the Kala serpentine body sliders…another bloody trap door slide, that battered you about…of the joys. Then we managed the Furious river, actually called the fearless river, but who’s keeping track…like a mental lazy river where the name of the game was not to drown, before then hitting the milder Winding river to end our morning.
A morning is enough for us, we’re not water park people, but Volcano Bay is really immersive and quite fun…time for a smelly piss shower…fuck, I swear people must save their bladder contents for the showers, these things…minging mun…I didn’t add to the scent if that’s what you’re thinking either.
Spot of lunch in the sun, quick return back to the room to change…quick prank on Jo, sending her wandering the second floor for 10 minutes before realising I had sent her lift to the wrong floor before running up the stairs…and then we were ready to head back to studios.
Villain Con obviously…hammered Jo this time, getting that step closer to joining the vicious 6!! Wander and a bit of Ice cream followed while we waited for the Bourne stutacular!! Heard good things about this, but I can’t be bothered with shows, I’d rather be busy…but we’re tired, so gave it a go. Wow! This was sooooo good, amazing sets, stunts were cool, just incredibly well done…we were blown away! It made Jo want to watch the movies…I have assured her they are shit though, so we won’t be doing that.
And bloody hell, just like that our day had gone…time to enter stay and scream holding…you know, the line for a line for a line like yesterday…time to transform into...Anxiety Man…I bloody hate the stress of this, but love HHN…RIP next year I think. 2 hours waiting in the unsheltered holding zone, Jordan tops up her tan, I top up my stress levels, and eventually we start moving. Jordan befriends some Scottish folk , where the bloke has been dragged to Universal by his wife, and protests his hatred for anything Harry Potter, and bemoans 35 year olds walking around in capes…hmmm best not tell him I was wandering around the house in a cape just last week…I’m 36 though so it’s fine. Nice couple though, had a good chat that helped pass the time…and finally we were ushered into Monsters Unmasked!!!
Yep brilliant house, although we kept walking into walls because it was so dark…a combination of bright sunshine and dark sets…nevertheless, amazing house…got attacked by Mr Hyde, the Phantom tried to rip my face off and the Hunchback almost landed on my head…no idea where the invisible man was...great stuff.
Quick walk to hit up a few more houses before we chill for the night…Oddfellow
and the Darkest Deal both only had 5 minute waits so we had to try them again…FML, these houses are infinitely scarier when you’re the only people in them…absolutely shit myself! Sets were amazing though, the scares were intense and fun…fantabulous.
That’s us done for houses today, all about soaking up the atmosphere…and the fact that our feet had taken a battering the night before. Quick bite to eat…Chucky Popcorn Chicken, and then off to try and wait for the Megan Horde to arrive and dance their little asses off.
Now…the thing was, there are not set times for this show, only random hearsay…so we sat, outside the spot waiting…waiting…waiting…2 hours later we had amassed a huge crowd of people…just waiting for nothing to happen. The music was there, the spot lights were there, but the Megan’s were not! I couldn’t let these people down, they were here for a show, and damn if they were gonna get one…I take center stage, and I bust out some of my best moves…I was a thrusting, flossing maniac…the crown went wild, people threw things at me in appreciation…well I think it was appreciation. And like that, I was done…you’re welcome Universal…come on Jo, had a fuckfull of waiting, let’s get some Funnel Fries. Apparently the Megan’s turned up an hour later…but everyone was more disappointed not to see my dance repeated apparently, I must be in demand.
Some Sour Apple Funnel fries to help overcome the disappointment…bloody delicious, and then off to Diagon Alley to see some Death eaters!!! Hopefully they would show and not give us the whole Megan disappointment. Yep they were out, causing havoc in Diagon Alley…sooooo cool, some great interactions, and good little show. Glad we managed to catch them. Unfortunately though they had heard of Jordan’s shenanigans of trying to free house elves the day before and took umbridge and decided to cruciatus us…thank god for some meddling wizard fuckers near by to duel them…thanks random wizard, our kids still have parents because of you…
Quick look at the Peacock bar, and we were done for the evening…ooo but managed to do Bloodmoon once more as we were leaving…fantastic house!! THE FALSE HEARTED MUST DIE!!
Quick stop (well not quick, this was the slowest place I think I’ve ever seen serve food) in Voodoo donuts…bit of sugar to help with the last stretch back to the hotel, and all that was left to do was pack to leave tomorrow. Not as bad as usual mind, we’ve only been here for 5 days, so our suitcases were able to close with minimal hassle…just. Knackered, shattered…off to bed…2 consecutive horror nights has beaten us, but we had soooo much fun…well barring the Megan fiasco. Checkout and Islands of Adventure tomorrow for most of the day…we can rest on the plane.
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